The Kids Are All Wrong
by skydivided
Summary: Forget the epic love story of Lily and James. It's seventh year, Voldemort's here, Death Eaters are in the school, Sirius snogged Lily, James went crazy, Remus can't help and Peter's finding an excuse to side with the Dark Lord. You'll like it.
1. Drunk Again

Sirius woke up slowly, feeling very uncomfortable. For a second, he couldn't figure out why his back and head hurt so much, but then he realized he was not in his bed. Rather, he was sprawled out across a couch in the common room, face resting in a puddle of his own drool. His head was screaming a thousand insults at him as he attempted to raise it, so he moved it as far from the damp spot on the couch as he could, and tried to make sense of why he was waking up in the common room. He blinked several times, until the room came fully into focus.

Aha. There was a Gryffindor Quidditch banner hanging from the mantle of the fireplace, flashing the slogan "Lions For the Cup!" over and over again in a shade of neon yellow that made Sirius want to curl up in a corner and die. Yes, he remembered now. Gryffindor had yet again won the Quidditch cup, hadn't they? And there had been a huge party in the common room, the evidence of which was still plain from the discarded bottles of butterbeer and firewhiskey lying around... oh no. Sirius had a sudden image of himself a few hours ago, steadily working his way through several flagons of the stuff. He had been drinking with someone utterly unexpected, he remembered, but his brain was still fuzzy. And what was this leaden feeling of guilt in his chest? He must have done something very wrong, if his conscience was reporting back to him the next morning after seven conspicuous years of its absence.

What had convinced him to drink so much? The answer was also in the back of his head, haunting him as it had been for the past year and a half; Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Sirius had watched all of his family, his cousins, childhood playmates, each of them turn even more distant towards him, had read about them in the paper, arrested for torturing Muggles, burning houses, killing "blood traitors." It was only yesterday that James had grimly tossed him an issue of The Daily Prophet and strode away, giving Sirius room to digest the title: "The Family So Dark, They're Black." The entire front page was a description of the evil acts his relatives had undertaken, including a picture of Regulus flashing his insane grin. There had been a small mention of Sirius under the phrase "The Black Sheep?" explaining that he was a current Hogwarts student in Gryffindor house, and was often seen in the company of Muggleborn students. However, the author, some student journalist named Skeeter, was sure to express her doubts that Sirius wasn't like his family. He had attracted unfriendly looks all that day, even Slughorn pretending not to know him.

Sirius had been trying to lose himself in a happy night. He wasn't to be faulted for that. So, what was it, nagging at the edges of his brain, that made him want to crawl under the sofa and remain there until graduation? He sighed, replaying his shattered memories of the night again.

Oh god.

He remembered bounding up the stairs and entering the common room, sporting an ear to ear grin that he hadn't worn in quite some time. He had been met with a good amount of cheers, having been the commentator for the final Slytherin/Gryffindor match. He might not be the world's best Quidditch player, but privately Sirius thought he was the best possible commentator, having both a passion for the game and the quick wit to come up with jibes about the opposing team on the spot. His fellow Gryffindors obviously thought the same, for he was drawn into the party instantly, firewhiskey being pressed into his hand, being pulled into hugs with a great number of squealing girls. As such, when he emerged on the other side, he considered himself lucky to have made it through the main throng of people successfully, and tipped back a toast to himself. To his surprise, someone else had joined in on the toast, ignoring the triumphant entrance of the Quidditch team.

Sirius shook his head in disbelief, remembering. He had been drinking with Evans. Lily Evans, who he had finally gotten on good terms with as they studied together for the NEWTs. Lily Evans, who James Potter, his best friend in the world, had carried a torch for the last seven years. They had gotten drunk, the two of them, very drunk; drunk on firewhiskey, on happiness, on the fact that tonight they wouldn't have to worry about who was next to turn up dead. James was being admired by his squadron of dedicated fans, Peter staring at him adoringly as he recounted the tale of his capture of the Snitch yet again. Moony was sharing the corner with Sirius and Lily (and when had he appeared? Sirius wondered), occasionally trying to pry the bottle out of their hands, though he had been a bit tipsy too, hadn't he? And then things spiraled out of control. Lily had been leaning against Sirius, both of them talking, well, slurring about the variety of ways James could be a prat, at first staring at him strutting around as if he owned the school, but their eyes slowly being drawn to each other.

"I don't think he's the cutest boy in the school. He's-He's not even the cutest boy in our year!" Lily had said loudly, looking up and stroking Sirius' cheek, the unexpected touch making him shiver. Her eyes were so green, her hair free from its usual ponytail. She was devastatingly beautiful.

And then it had happened. They had kissed quickly, looked away, laughed nervously, and then kissed for a long time. When they finally broke apart, Remus was staring at them, mouth slightly ajar. Sirius' usual admirers were looking furious. But James, James had looked at him the way he had only seen him look at Snape before, his butterbeer bottle shattered in his hand. The next instant, or so it seemed, James was on him, pummeling him with both fists and the broken bottle, as Sirius lay prone, unable and unwilling to fight back. Sirius remembered noticing that he was dripping blood, and trying to say something about it.

Then, everything went black for good. The next thing Sirius remembered was waking up a few minutes ago. Someone must have moved him to the couch, he gathered. He thought he remembered Peter (and who would have thought it?) pulling James off him, forcing him up the stairs to the dormitory. Well, he supposed there was a reason the little rat was a Gryffindor; touching James in that state was a job best left to the extremely brave, or the gloriously insane. Sirius let out a groan expressing his utter disgust with both the situation and himself. How could he have done that?

"You're awake." A male voice said flatly. Sirius started, instinctively curling up in case James was about to drive another fist into his stomach, then relaxed. He recognized the voice.

"Don't remind me, Moony." Sirius replied, every bruise and cut screaming from his sudden exertion.

"You're an utter idiot, you know." Remus said, pacing around to the front of the couch so Sirius could see him.

"I know."

"She was James' girl."

"I know." Sirius said, though the bit of him that was thinking that this wasn't entirely fair protested. She was not James' girl. In fact, as far as he knew, Lily Evans had yet to ever give James Potter the time of day.

"This is all your fault."

"Jesus Christ, Lupin! I know!" Sirius snapped. "If you're going to sit here and lecture me all day, I'm off." This was an empty threat, as he was battered enough to have difficulty walking more than a few steps.

"I'm saying this so you know that I am very pissed at you, but I'm on your side." Remus said quietly, sweeping an anxious hand through his sandy hair in a move that was very reminiscent of James. Sirius was caught off guard.

"Really? Why?" He rasped, pushing himself onto one elbow in an attempt to preserve his dignity.

"You didn't see what he was like, Padfoot. You shut down after he hit you the first two or three times." Remus blinked wearily. "He went insane. He was actually trying to kill you. After you went down, all he was trying to do was jab that broken bottle into your neck. You're lucky he didn't think of his wand. After Peter pulled him off you, I healed as much as I could. Lily was sobbing. She wouldn't leave your side." Sirius' eyes widened slightly at this latest revelation, but he said nothing. "I carried you over here and guarded the stairs all night." Remus concluded, a faint blush appearing on his face.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Moony, I-"

"I thought he might come back. I'm hoping that he's sobered up enough by now that he'll realize he tried to murder his best friend over a girl." Remus gave Sirius a small smile, as the ridiculousness of his statement hit both of them. The situation was so absurd. Sirius began a low chuckle, but this turned into a watery cough.

"I think the bastard bruised my lung! Is that even possible?" Sirius grunted between coughs, halfway between bitter amusement and actual outrage. He noted Remus' look of worry. "What is it, man?"

"I healed you as best as I could. That doesn't mean I healed you right. I think… I think you should go to the hospital wing." Remus said, looking at the floor. Sirius couldn't tell if he was ashamed at his failure at healing him, or at the tough decision he had just handed Sirius.

"You know I can't do that, mate. Poppy would ask what happened. If I didn't tell her, some other Gryffindor would. James would be expelled. I can't let that happen. He may be a miserable bastard right now, but he's my best mate."

"You have to get healed, Sirius! I'm worried you might be bleeding internally!"

"What, you mean I'm on my period?"

"No, nitwit. I'm worried your organs got cut up." Remus rolled his eyes.

"I'm not turning in James." Sirius responded stolidly.

"Well, unless there's some magical place that could make you better, I don't see a way…" Remus trailed off, realizing what he had just said. The two met eyes.

"The Room of Requirement." They said in unison.


	2. Best Foot Forward

2) Best Foot Forward

The happiness the two boys had felt at finding a solution disappeared as they realized just how difficult it would be to move Sirius to the seventh floor. Sirius, to his credit, had managed to stand up on his own. This process was accompanied by a number of grunts and squeals of pain. Sirius really had no energy to be stoic, and Remus' claim that he might be suffering some sort of internal bleeding was nagging at the edges of his consciousness. He ached enough around the stomach to fear that the other boy was right. To his embarrassment, Sirius discovered from his slightly swaying standing position that his legs utterly refused to move when he told them to. He would have stood there, shaking like an old man covered in dried blood, if Remus had not shot him an appraising look and quickly swerved to support him. Sirius thankfully pressed one arm down on Remus' shoulder and took a tentative step.

Luckily, he was able to move, if he put most of his weight on his friend. "Thanks mate. Hope you've been doing your squat-thrusts lately. We need to move..." He took a shallow breath and continued. "A long way." Remus chuckled.

"As huge and muscular as you think you are, Padfoot, I think I can manage getting you up three flights of stairs and down a hallway." He replied, providing a supporting arm around the taller boy's shoulders. Together, they managed to stumble out of the portrait hole, and set off in a slow, shambling pace towards the staircases.

"Ow, watch it, that was my toe!"

"Sirius, you're bleeding from at least three places, and you're whinging that your little piggy got stomped on?"

"Well, it hurt! What have you been eating for breakfast, anvils?"

"Nah, you know me, mate. I go in for a bowl of concrete meself." Remus grinned. Sirius shook his head disparingly.

"Hark at the lad." He complained, as if an unseen spectator was watching. "Making jokes, what with me on my deathbed!"

"Don't say things like that…" Remus cautioned, holding Sirius steadier.

"What, you think I'm actually hurt that bad?" Sirius said, a ridiculing jeer trying to appear on his banged up face. Remus refused to meet his eyes. Sirius attempted a derisive laugh, but was interrupted by a stabbing pain in his chest. The two had to stop walking for a moment while he doubled over, gasping for breath. Finally, he straightened up. "Remus... do you actually think I might be hurt that bad?" Sirius repeated, this time without the sarcasm.

"Save your breath, mate. We've got a way to go." Remus cautiously responded. They were nearly at the set of great wooden doors separating the staircase, when Dung Fletcher burst through them, either in very high spirits, or as Sirius suspected from the look of his eyes, just very high. Dung stared mystified at Sirius and Remus, who simultaneously realized that they were wrapped around each other.

"Uhh…"

"God."

"It's not what it looks like." This last voice was Remus, who was shining an alarming shade of red under Dung's scrutiny. Dung merely stood there, mouth hanging open. The door clapped open again, and Kirley McCormack, a Gryffindor seventh year and Beater with long blond dreadlocks entered the hall. He took two steps and analyzed the scene.

"Get a room, you two." Kirley said, an enormous grin spreading across his face. Dung dissolved into helpless laughter, leaning against the wall for support.

"Clever, McCormack." Sirius replied lightly, feeling a reluctant smile creep across his face, pulling at what must be a deep gash on one cheek. He realized that this was one of those situations where the only response was to laugh at himself. Remus, however, still looked terribly embarrassed, prompting Dung to add,

"Evans last night, Lupin today? Sirius, the rumors about you being a man-whore are being affirmed before my eyes." Sirius rolled his eyes, mentally grimacing. It hurt every muscle, just standing still.

"Dung, you of all people should know that there is no such thing as a man-whore. There are merely people who are better at life than others." Sirius responded, eyebrows darting upwards.

"Yeah, well, not when you're cuddling with a guy!" Kirley drawled. Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus got to it first.

"SHUT UP!" The boy roared furiously. Dung suddenly stopped laughing. "We're not cuddling! Sirius just got his ass handed to him last night, so I'm helping him get to a healer." Both Dung and Kirley took a cautious step back. Sirius swiveled his head to stare at Remus, who was shaking with anger, his free hand wrapped white knuckled around his wand.

"Relax, man…" He said quietly. "They were just messing around. They don't actually think…"

"I know they don't think." Remus snarled. He stepped forwards, dragging Sirius with him. Ignoring his friend's agonized yelp, he continued in a very dark tone, "If I see either of you high again, I'm giving you a month of detention." He glared daggers at the two boys, who shot each other an anxious look, just now remembering he was a prefect.

"High? I don't know what you mean, mate-" Kirley attempted, but Dung threw an elbow into the other boy's gut, effectively cutting him off.

"Sorry Remus. We were just joking around." Dung said. "We didn't mean anything by it."

"Just go." Remus snapped, eyes flashing. Sirius shot them both an apologetic look as they walked nervously past them. An awkward moment of silence fell between the two Marauders as the other boys disappeared from sight. Finally, Sirius grinned.

"Would you send me to detention if you caught _me_ high, Moony?" He asked, batting his eyes at Remus. Remus momentarily looked even angrier, then sighed and started chuckling softly.

"Well, I don't know. That's one of those crazy hypothetical situations. You would never smoke." He said, a bit too naïvely. "Don't blink your eyes like that. It's really gross."

"Why?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"Oh, you don't know, do you? You're sporting one of the most vile black eyes I've ever seen. It's actually oozing something a shade of yellow… I'm not going to elaborate any further. Just looking at you makes me queasy." Remus said. This seemed to be the phrase that got them moving again, and they stumbled up the stairs together, Remus nearly dragging him up the steep incline. Sirius spent the entire trip up the stairs wondering why Remus had reacted so powerfully to their friends' jibes. Could Remus be… no, that was ridiculous. Remus told him everything. After admitting to being a werewolf first year, keeping a secret about something like his gender preferences seemed silly. Sirius shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts as Remus hauled him up onto the landing. They both needed to rest at the top of the stairs, so they leaned against the wall, panting.

"Man, getting nearly bludgeoned to death is a real bitch." Sirius gasped, nearly doubled over from the effort of getting up the stairs.

"Makes you regret kissing your best friend's girl, doesn't it?" Remus responded, standing up again and offering Sirius a hand. Sirius grabbed it and swung himself back onto Remus' supporting frame. As they struggled down the hall, Sirius grimaced.

"It really was terrible of me, wasn't it?"

"It was. You were drunk, but that's no excuse."

"Hold up."

"No, it isn't an excuse, you bleeding wino." Remus said, half jokingly.

"No, I mean, hold up. This is the spot." They both looked at the expanse of blank wall. Remus nodded.

"I'll do it. You lean against the wall 'til the door appears. What do you think, 'I need a place that can heal Sirius Black?'" Remus asked. Sirius nodded, and pressed his weary head against the tapestry of ballet dancing trolls. Remus started walking back and forth, concentrating hard. However, on his third run, the door had yet to appear.

"What? Why isn't the room working?" Remus asked nervously.

"Someone must be using it. See if you can talk them out of there." Sirius responded, taking rapid shallow breaths. He was alarmed to hear how watery his breathing sounded. Remus also looked worried, and rapped on the wall a few times.

"Oi, whoever's in there. My friend is hurt really bad out here, and he needs to use the room urgently." Remus said loudly into the wall. "This is Remus Lupin. Gryffindor Prefect. I wouldn't do this unless it was really important. Please-" He exhaled with relief as the wall suddenly shifted into a door and swung open. "Thanks so much…" Remus started, then trailed off. Sirius pushed himself further down the wall to see who had opened the door. Dark eyes met brilliant green ones, and Sirius imagined he now knew what it was like to be petrified.

"Lily…" He finally gasped, staggering forward.


	3. Comfortably Numb

3. Comfortably Numb

Lily Evans stood in the doorframe, looking rather like she had been up all night, which of course, she had. Her red hair had formed a sort of wavy mane, her skin, normally fair, now chalk white. Her pretty blue shirt was marked with several dark stains that could only have been Sirius' blood. Her face was stricken with shame.

It was perhaps best for all concerned parties that the effort of walking forward sent Sirius plunging back into unconsciousness. Remus and Lily simultaneously lunged for him as he tipped forward, and between the two of them, they managed to drag Sirius inside the Room of Requirement. The room was behaving interestingly, shifting and melding in a confusing blur as Sirius and Remus entered.

"What's going on?" Remus asked Lily, looking at the melting walls of the room. It was giving him a headache. Lily frowned, then attempted a short, tinkling laugh that did little to hide the sadness and worry on her face.

"It- it can't decide whose requirement it's supposed to meet!" She said, amused in the detached fashion of someone who has recently endured a great deal of shock.

"Well, is there anything we can do about it? We can't just hold him up forever!" Remus half-yelled.

"Just wait, I think." Lily responded. "Ah. Here it goes." The room suddenly elongated to twice its normal size. Remus blinked in surprise. The half of the room that the three of them were standing in had transformed to an utterly state of the art sickbay. Healing potions bubbled off to the side in a neat rack of silver cauldrons, and an examining table was in the center. However, the other half of the room could not have been a greater contrast. The smooth white tile suddenly gave way to floral wallpaper, the floor covered in plush carpet. It was a seventeen-year-old girl's room, complete with a twin bed and canopy. Posters were plastered upon every available surface, mostly art prints, though The Beatles, The Who, and surprisingly enough, Led Zeppelin were all in evidence. To end any shadow of a doubt, there was a framed picture of Lily and some of her friends at Hogwarts hanging prominently in the center of one of the walls. A record was spinning on a record player, the song "Something" by The Beatles echoing around the newly formed room.

Remus momentarily forgot he was supposed to be hauling Sirius onto the table, and stared point blank at Lily.

"What?" Lily said. Remus refused to look away. "Fine. I just wanted to go home. The room did the best it could." She explained, a faint blush creeping onto her pale face. She looked utterly drained. This realization motivated Remus to hoist Sirius onto the examination table, which dipped down to make it easier for him. Lily stared, transfixed, at Sirius' prone form. Remus was alarmed to see a teardrop rolling down her cheek.

"It's okay, Lily. You can go now. I'll take care of him." Remus said carefully, giving her a considering glance.

"Like hell you will. Not without me." Lily shot back, now looking insulted. "This is entirely my fault. I shouldn't have kissed him, I didn't even consider what a creep James is. I never thought Potter-" she spat the word, "would do something like _this_, though." She glided over to the wall of potions, avoiding Remus' gaze. Her delicate hand shook slightly as she fumbled through what seemed to be a pile of instruction manuals. "Oh! Thank god. There's a key explaining each of these. If we give the right amount of each of them, he should be fine by the time we're finished. At least, I think that's what it says…" She scanned the sheet of parchment for several more minutes, nodding at this, frowning at that. Remus stood back, feeling edgy and useless. Finally, she sighed with relief. "Yes, this does seem to be it. As long as we follow all of this exactly right, he'll be in perfect condition by the time we're done." Remus said a small prayer of thanks to whichever god was looking after them, and walked over to look at the parchment himself.

"Okay. The silver one on the far right is for external bleeding. 'Apply it directly to the site' it says." Lily was already funneling potion into a bowl and gathering clean bandages. She passed the bowl to Remus, and they both moved urgently to where Sirius was lying.

"Open gash. On his cheek." Lily pointed. Remus wordlessly dipped a cotton pad into the healing solution and handed it to Lily. She swiped it once across his cheek and sighed with relief as the wound instantly mended. Both of them looked at the boy for another moment, until Lily realized the significance of his ragged shirt.

"He must have been cut by the bottle there too." She said. The two of them met eyes for an awkward moment.

"Hey, my hands are full." Remus said, holding up the bowl of potion and the bandages like a shield.

"Fine. Honestly, all you lot are so touchy." Lily retorted, reaching down and gently easing Sirius' black Muggle t-shirt off. Remus snorted with incredulity behind her, but said nothing. She noticed that the shirt was tacky to the touch, which made her expect the worst. Sure enough, there was a wide, deep gash on his abdomen, along with numerous other small cuts. Lily set about mending these, noticing that Sirius' breathing was clearing up considerably as the places where he could lose blood diminished. Remus had moved away from the table, and was following the instructions for internal healing potions. Soon, as Sirius regained his color and began breathing easily, the look of pain melting away from his face, Remus and Lily began chatting amicably, as if the situation was one they experienced all the time.

"Led Zeppelin? Really, Lily?" Remus was asking, waiting for Sirius' temperature to register and looking around the replica of Lily's room. Lily snorted with laughter.

"A gift from an old boyfriend. Muggle. He thought the perfect date would be seeing those blokes in a shady club in London. All these Muggles who were into mysticism bothered me all night. Girls with black lipstick and fingernails offering to tell my fortune. They looked a bit like Bellatrix, actually. It was so creepy!" Lily squealed. "I kept the poster to remind me I shouldn't date people just because I thought they were interesting." She smiled shyly at Remus. Remus laughed, then glanced at the thermometer.

"Thank god, his temperature's normal. It's just the bruise potion left. You do really like The Beatles though, right? I had to go out and buy a Muggle record player, just so I could get a copy of the White Album. Mum and Dad don't really approve of Muggle music. Say I shouldn't be advertising my liberal leanings when You-Know-Who's on the rise." Bad enough that he was a werewolf, really. Lily nodded fervently, pulling a bottle of bruise potion from the rack.

"He's got to swallow this one. Pinch his nose, there's a lad." Lily began the arduous process of force-feeding Sirius the final potion. "Oh, I love The Beatles. Especially John Lennon. He's gorgeous, isn't he? Shame he's with Yoko..." She sighed, but at this point, Sirius began sputtering. His eyes flew open. Lily started, and removed the bottle of potion from his mouth. Remus quickly took his fingers off his friend's nose, feeling ridiculous. Sirius sat up swiftly, and glanced around the room.

"Who's gorgeous?" He squawked, confused. "Who's Yoko? Where's my shirt?" Remus and Lily glanced at each other, and fell about laughing. "Hey now, that's not really fair!" Sirius said, leaping off the table. He realized a second later that he was moving without any problem. "Am I better?" He asked cautiously.


	4. Somewhere in the Middle

4. Somewhere in the Middle

"I should hope so. We've only been doctoring you for the past three hours." Lily responded, giddy with relief that Sirius was healthy once more.

"Three hours?" Sirius said, mystified. "I must have been completely out. Was I really hurt that bad?" He cautiously felt his face, expecting to probe the large cut. To his relief, his fingers only met unbroken skin.

"Actually, yes." Remus said, dipping his head. "I still think I should have brought you to a healer, but you seem fine now." The boy could not keep a proud note out of his voice. Sirius knew Remus cherished a dream of one day becoming a Healer and discovering a cure for lycanthropy. He grasped his friend's shoulder.

"Thank you, Remus. How many times have I owed my life to you, now?" He asked, only half joking.

"Five by my count." Remus replied, straight faced. Lily chuckled softly, prompting Sirius to turn to her.

"And, Lily..." The two met eyes for the first time since Sirius had awakened. Remus took a step towards the door, saying,

"You can't walk back to the Common Room without a shirt. You've already caused enough scandal for one day, Black. I'll go get you another." He stepped quickly out of the room with the air of a man who needed to vacate the area before things got awkward.

"Lily…" Sirius tried again. "Thank you. I might have… I might have been much worse if you hadn't been here, if you hadn't opened the door. I owe you." Lily made a strangled noise, no longer looking pleased with her success.

"You. You're saying you owe me?" she choked. For what seemed like the hundredth time since the disastrous kiss, tears welled up in her beautiful green eyes. "Sirius, I was the one who kissed you! I started this whole thing! Don't you see, it was my fault! I'm the reason your best friend tried to kill you!" She wailed, striding away from the medicinal portion of the room. She sat on her bed, looking thoroughly miserable. "You could have died, Sirius." She sniffled. "You could have died, and it would have been my fault." Sirius followed her into the other half. The second his feet hit the carpet, the sickbay portion of the room snapped away into nothingness.

"Don't say things like that, Evans. I kissed you! I always do things like this when I drink too much, I lunge at the nearest attractive thing. Don't beat yourself up over this." Sirius sighed, perching on the corner of her bed. "It really was my fault. Ask Remus. Better yet, ask James." Lily merely sniffled in response. Sirius mentally groaned. He hated dealing with weepy females.

"You didn't do it. It was me." She finally said stubbornly. Sirius made an exasperated noise and sat down on the bed next to her.

"That makes no sense, Evans. You don't even like me. Well, I hope you can tolerate talking to me after seven years of misery, but I know you don't like me like that. You're Lily Evans. You're brilliant and you've got, I dunno, womanly intuition, and you never make a bad choice." He explained, trying to be rational. "I'm Sirius Black. I'm a walking bad choice." He concluded. Lily gave a trembling smile.

"Always building up that bad-boy image, aren't you, Black?" She said, flicking his bare shoulder. "'I'm a walking bad choice.' Honestly. To listen to you, you'd think you hadn't gotten top scores on all your OWLs. I'm onto you now." Sirius shrugged.

"Think what you want, Evans, but I am a walking bottle of testosterone and manliness. I probably only did so well on my OWLs because I charmed the examiners." He said blithely.

"Oh, sure, put on the act. I know for a fact you have h-"

"Do not even say 'hidden depths' or you get a smack upside the head." Lily looked affronted.

"You can't smack me, Black. I'm a girl!" She scolded, trying not to grin.

"You mean I'm not allowed to smack girls? Excuse me, I have to go apologize to Peter for about a million transgressions." Sirius responded, eyes glinting mischievously. Lily groaned.

"Remind me to stop setting you up." She sighed. "Maybe you're right. Why on earth would I kiss you on purpose?"

"Because I'm so damn adorable? It sure as hell couldn't be my personality. You know what they say about pretty boys; all brawn, no brains." Sirius said, holding back a very unmanly giggle.

"Now you think you're pretty. The famous Black ego arrives." Lily was so caught up in the half-argument that the worry began to disappear from her face.

"Hey, I wouldn't be me without it. But you should admit it. I'm gorgeous." He arranged himself so he was facing Lily, sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed.

"Get your disgusting feet off my bed, Black!"

"Come off it, it's not even really your bed. Now observe." He pointed to his face. "Note the defined jawline, the masculine square chin-"

"I am not sitting here and listening to you extol your virtues, Sirius!" Lily said, acting affronted though she too swung both feet onto the bed to better see whatever it was Sirius was doing.

"Then just admit I'm ridiculously good looking." Sirius knew he was treading on dangerous ground. Getting off with a friend's girl once while drunk? Eventually, James would see it as excusable, or at least, so he hoped. But here he was, flirting unreservedly with the same girl not even a day later. Something was definitely wrong with him He knew how easily he could get just about any girl in the school, yet the only one he seemed interested in was the one he couldn't have.

"Fine. You're ridiculously good looking." Lily said, shaking her head and laughing. "That's why I kissed you, and that's why you got beat up. So, in conclusion, this whole fiasco is completely my fault! I win." She sat there, gloating at having defeated Sirius logically. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Close your eyes and hold still." He commanded. Lily blinked.

"Black, what are you up to?" She said, laughing.

"Will you just listen?" Sirius said, exasperated. Lily gave Sirius a considering look and shut her eyes, a faint smile playing around her lips. Sirius clambered up to sit nearer to her. The part inside of him that was still sane was having a heart attack, but Sirius had always suffered from selective attention, so he was able to ignore the voice in his head that told him James was going to kill him for real this time. He leaned in, and kissed Lily gently on the lips.

"There." He murmured. "Now we're even." Lily opened her eyes slowly, bright green meeting Sirius' stormy gray. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it shut again. She seemed to be waging a violent internal battle, her eyes no longer focusing on anything. She was quiet enough that Sirius began to get worried. He was about to break the silence, when she seemed to decide something, snapping back to attention.

"Very smooth, Black. That's how I kiss my mother."

"What? You kiss your mother on the mmpph-" Sirius was effectively cut off as Lily twined her fingers through his hair, leaned forwards, and kissed him like she meant it. They would have remained there, Sirius thought afterwards, for quite some time, had the door not banged open a few moments later.

They broke apart in shock as they heard the noise, both heads spinning towards the door.

"Oh, you two are the worst friends ever." Remus growled, throwing a clean t-shirt at Sirius. "Quit snogging. Something's up with James."


	5. Love Is A Crime

5) Love is a Crime

_Authors note:_

_Hey everyone! It's Sky, congratulating you for making it to Chapter 5! I'd like to thank everyone who's been reading, it makes me happy to know I haven't been slaving over this for nothing. Special thanks go to my (3) reviewers, who have encouraged me to stick with this silly story. I'd love more feedback, so if you feel like giving me a hand, once you finish this chapter, please tell me what you think, what you'd like to see. Updates won't be coming as frequently anymore, as I'm back at college, my own personal Hogwarts. Looks like I'm going to be kept busy this semester, but I'll at least get a chapter out once every two weeks. So, go on and read this one, it took longer than I expected._

_**Ten Hours Previously**_

James could not stop the smile from stretching across his face, couldn't stop from pounding Kirley on the back once more triumphantly. The reason for his happiness was wrapped firmly the arms of the grinning Beater; the Quidditch Cup. James had finally led the team to victory. If he was never going to be able to play Quidditch in school again, he was glad that he was leaving with such a decisive victory. The Slytherins would be smarting for a long time; Gryffindor had won by more than two hundred points. James knew it wasn't really fair to see the victory as entirely hinging on him, but he couldn't help it. Even though it was always up to the Seeker to win the match, it had been particularly tricky this round. He rather thought that the Slytherin Seeker would have gotten the Snitch, had Kirley not sent a brilliantly placed Bludger in the way of his opponent. James had swooped directly afterwards, grabbed blindly, and to his immense relief, come up with the Snitch. And now, it was time to celebrate his- er, the team's good work. He climbed the stairs to the portrait hole, feeling like he could float up them, if he really wanted to. Andorpha McLaggen, the pretty fifth year chaser, was humming a victory march, Todes and Cooper tossing the Quaffle back and forth as they scaled the stairs. All together, James could fool himself into thinking that he felt perfect. He knew he wasn't perfect, knew that the act he was playing was the act he had to play. Nobody could think anything was wrong. Even he couldn't think anything was wrong.

"Shall we, then?" James said, giving the Fat Lady a winning smile.

"Password?" The Fat Lady said, though she was grinning enormously.

"Victory!" The team yelled together, slapping hands and shoulders as the portrait swung open and they were hit by a wall of cheers.

And then, for a few moments, it was a happy daze of congratulations and hugs. The whole house, it seemed, was out in force, determined to make this the most epic party to have ever graced the common room. James hadn't eaten anything before the match, believing he flew faster on an empty stomach, so he battled his way over to the long table, decked with all sorts of food. Peter was standing there, gnawing his way through a turkey leg, looking so intent on his food James wondered if anybody had told him there was a party going on.

"Oi, Wormtail?" He shouted above the music. Someone was blaring "Wand Fulla Dynamite," the song that had put the Wizarding group The Harpies on the map. Peter failed to notice that James was yelling anything, continuing to attack the turkey.

"Wormtail, your house is on fire!" Nothing.

"Wormtail, I just climbed off your mum." Nothing.

"She was great!" Nothing.

"Wormtail, you can't be a Marauder anymore!"

"What?!" Peter shrieked, dropping a full mouthful of turkey on his robes. James contemplated repeating himself, but settled by saying;

"Oh, nothing. I just slept with your mum."

"Oh." Peter said, eying the turkey leg again. "If that's all…" He opened his mouth so wide, it looked like he had unhinged his jaw. James thought he might be able to fit the whole leg in his mouth.

"Wormtail, you prat. Where's Remus and Sirius? I want some real conversation. And compliments about my skill. In that order." Peter snapped his mouth shut and furrowed his brow, trying to remember. Finally, he jabbed the turkey at a corner of the common room. James stood on tiptoe, trying to see where they were. Finally, his eyes settled on the disdainful posture of Sirius Black, who was quaffing something out of a glass flagon. Knowing that it was Sirius, James suspected it was the most alcoholic drink the boy could get his hands on. Next to him sat Remus, who was taking turns sipping something bright purple and giving it incredulous looks. A silly grin was working its way across the boy's face. James nodded in approval. It was about time Moony let his hair down, as it were. But… that was odd. Sitting next to Sirius was none other than Lily Evans, who seemed to be sharing the bottle of firewhiskey with him. This could only mean one thing…

"Wormtail, check it out! The lads are convincing Lily that she'd be happiest with me!"

"Mmph?" The boy looked up, his face now liberally covered in chocolate. He swallowed several times. "Hey, that's really great, James! Hey, man, you should act like, really cool, so when she looks over here-" he took a massive bite of the cake he was holding with both hands "- she can… see how cool you are and be impressed." Peter trailed off, his plan no longer sounding so great to his own ears.

"Wormtail, I think you might have actually had a good idea."

"Really?"

"Yeh, I'll buy you a card to commemorate the occasion later." James snapped. "Quick, you, start fawning over me. And grab me one of those butterbeers, storytelling makes me thirsty." Peter finished the slice of cake, passed James a cold bottle, and loudly announced;

"James, you really were the hero of the game. Tell me again how you did it." To James' delight, a small crowd of mostly fifth year girls gathered around to hear the tale.

Nearly a half hour later, he was still going.

"And then I swerved to the left, right?" The group of girls nodded dreamily. "But, there was a Bludger in the way, so I-" James had glanced over at the corner, even though he was trying to play it cool. Oh no.

This couldn't be happening to him. Sirius and Lily were so wrapped around each other, it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. James ignored the group around him, striding through without even noticing they were there.

_Calm down now, James,_ he was telling himself, _there's a chance this isn't what it looks like. Perhaps Lily is choking on something, and Sirius is trying to get it out. _He paused for a second, mulling this thought over, then yelped aloud;

"Trying to get it out with his tongue?" The butterbeer bottle, which he had been holding onto with a deathgrip, caved into the pressure and broke in half, a jagged spear of glass plunging into the boy's palm. James ignored it, letting the bottom half fall to the floor as his hand moved up to the bottleneck. A wordless noise erupted from his throat, and he felt like he was spinning. Sirius jerked guiltily and looked over at him. The distant, detached part of James noted that there was still lip gloss glittering on his face. Then, things began to go black, as the careful façade James had built up was ripped away. He no longer saw himself sprinting towards his best friend, though he knew he was. He didn't feel his fist connect with Sirius' cheek, didn't even notice that he was trying to kill him with the broken bottle. He was back in his memory, back to two days ago at lunch. His owl had flown over, had dropped an official looking letter. He had carelessly torn it open.

And he had read.

And he had read.

Finally, muscles shaking with exhaustion, James felt himself being pulled off kilter, collapsing on his back. Peter, looking grim and worried, stood over him. James clambered to his feet, coming to his senses.

Everyone was staring at him. The knot of fifth year girls were crying. The Quidditch team was standing in a cluster, their faces unreadable. Dung looked furious, but he was piss drunk still. Finally, James looked at Sirius. The boy was barely recognizable. His face was a bloody red pulp, his neck a lattice of scrapes and cuts from the bottle. James felt the blood drain from his face. He turned his head. Lily was standing there, an angel holding vigil over Sirius, her hand in his. She looked up to meet James' eyes, her lips curled back in a snarl.

"I will never forgive you, Potter. He will, if he even lives. But you, you're vile. You're scum, you filthy fuck. You should have been a Slytherin." James was dimly surprised by the profanity escaping Lily's mouth, but the rest of the Gryffindors seemed to agree wholeheartedly with her. There was a murmur of accent from all around him. "Peter." Lily continued. "Take Potter to the dorm. See he doesn't get downstairs. I'm counting on you. I trust you." Peter gulped and nodded. James swayed on the spot, and without saying another word, walked up the staircase. As he left, he could hear the common room erupt in commotion, Remus begin murmuring healing spells. He paused for a second, but Peter tapped him on the shoulder, and he continued. After an eternity, or so it seemed, he arrived in the dorm. He slowly climbed into his four-poster, feeling black gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.

"Peter?" There was no response. James lay there, feeling the silence build a wall around him.

"What have I done?" He closed his eyes, and the darkness, again, engulfed him. This time, there was no rage. This time, he simply ran over the words on the letter, repeated them, accepted them.

_Dear Mr. Potter…_


	6. Borders and Boundaries

6) Borders and Boundaries

Sirius, Remus and Lily were hurrying back to the common room, Remus filling the other two in as best as he could.

"I went up to the dorm so I could grab one of Sirius' extra shirts and-"

"What, you went through my stuff? If you messed up my records, Moony, I will stab you in the throat with a butterbeer bottle! I just alphabetized those!" Sirius interrupted. Lily groaned.

"Firstly, that wasn't funny Sirius. Secondly, Remus… continue." Remus gave her a thankful look while Sirius looked slightly put out.

"Anyway, so I got up there and I didn't see anyone in there, so I just went over to your trunk, Sirius, and I was looking for a shirt, and I happened to just look over to the left, you know?"

"Yeah?"

"And James was just lying there, on his bed. And I thought maybe he was asleep at first, but his eyes were wide open. So I said 'James?' but he didn't do anything. He didn't even move, blink, look my direction. It really freaked me out. So I got closer, and he was just perfectly still. He didn't move a muscle."

"Remus, you checked for a pulse, right?"

"Don't worry, Lily. I'm pretty smart." Remus announced, rolling his eyes. "Eventually, I saw him breathing. He'd take a breath and hold it for about a minute, then let it go and take another one." Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Forgive me for stating the obvious, but… that's really weird. I'm not even sure how he could do that. He has the lung capacity of… a thing with small lung capacity." He said, giving Remus a critical look.

"Shut up." Remus suggested. "Also, weird that you know James' lung capacity. Anyway, I was a bit, well, pissed at him still. I'm pissed at all of you, by the way-" He glared sternly at the other two as Sirius and Lily shared a guilty glance, "-but I'm extra pissed at him, so I threw a pillow at him to see if he'd jump out of it." Remus looked faintly embarrassed about this. "Terrible for someone who wants to be a healer, I know. Don't say it." He cautioned Sirius, who had opened his mouth to give a snide comment.

"Pillow fights will get you nowhere, dearest-"

"Well? What happened?" Lily cut in, sensing an argument brewing between the two of them.

"Funny you should ask. He sat up all of a sudden and blinked a few times, right? So I asked 'James? Are you okay?'"

"What did he say?"

"Padfoot, you dolt, I was just getting to that." Remus snapped. "Remind me never to try and tell you anything ever again. He just sat there for a few minutes, then he said 'Get Sirius.' So I said 'Are you going to try to hurt him?'"

"My hero!"

"Fuck you, Black. Anyway, he said 'No, I just need to talk to him' and then I couldn't get him to say anything else. I think he might be legitimately crazy." Remus winced and glanced down the staircase, where a haughty figure was gliding upwards. He groaned slightly. "Heads up, Padfoot. Your cousin's hanging about." Sirius swore under his breath, and the three of them started down the stairs towards a disdainful Bellatrix Lestrange. She eyed the three of them, curling her beautiful lips back into something that could have been either a smile or a snarl.

"Well, if it isn't the… black sheep. Shouldn't you be with dear James, Sirius?" she drawled, her words poisoned honey. Remus and Lily noticed a sudden change in Sirius as his cousin addressed him. All the humor drained out of his face, the friendly gray eyes suddenly unreadable. His ever present faint smile disappeared, replaced with a scowl. For an instant, it was clear that the two of them were related. They shared the same deadly beauty, the change in Sirius so noticeable that the other two flanked him, as if a fight were about to happen. Sirius was oblivious, focused on his cousin. He took an aggressive step forward, sneering faintly.

"And shouldn't you be with your master, Bella?" He responded. She reached out to stroke his cheek.

"Silly boy. Whatever do you mean?" She asked, though her eyes said differently. Lily eyed the other girl critically. She knew that with purebloods, marrying a cousin here and there was not uncommon. She now thought that, just perhaps, the tension between Sirius and Bella was not entirely due to his hatred for the Dark Arts. As Bella stepped closer to Sirius, so close they were nearly touching, she felt suddenly furious (and where had that emotion come from?) and walked down another stair to become level with her.

"Then I'm sure you'll be happy to show us your arm. Someone without a mark doesn't have anything to worry about." She snapped. Bella tilted her head sideways, pretending to listen hard.

"Sirius, love, did you just hear something?" She simpered. "Must have been the wind." Sirius stepped backwards up a stair, his handsome face distorted with fury. Remus reached into his pocket to draw his wand, but it was Lily, who was surprised to find herself possessively grabbing Sirius' hand, who ended the confrontation. Bella's eyebrows darted upwards.

"So, that's how it is these days, cousin? I think I liked you better _last _year-" Both Remus and Lily shot Sirius questioning looks, but he was still focused on Bella. "-before you screwed Mudbloods. Bet your little friends never noticed that, did they, love? That the only girls you got with were purebloods? Still trying to get back in with the family, were you? But I guess you've took your stand now, haven't you? Pity. I liked it better when you were offering your… services to those of us with proper lineage." Lily's eyes widened. She had just gotten used to the thought of Sirius as a normal, acceptable Gryffindor. Her sudden, strong attraction to him attested to that. Surely he didn't hold any of the same prejudice of his family? But… what if Bella was speaking the truth?

"Fuck you!" Sirius barked. "You slimy bitch!" Bella seemed satisfied that she had made him break his composure. She turned away, walked up a few stairs, then with an actor's timing said, "…and you were _such a good screw_." She smiled maliciously as Remus and Lily fought to keep shock and anger off their faces. In a split second, Sirius had his wand out, and shot off a silent curse. Bella glanced at her body, and when nothing seemed to happen, opened her mouth to laugh. No sound came out. She looked suddenly furious and gave Sirius a very rude hand gesture before storming up the stairs. The tension amongst the three friends was suddenly broken, as they burst into laughter. The laughter was nervous, it was hiding the change in the dynamic that had just occurred, but it was laughter none the less.

"Langlock, right?" Remus said, grinning. "Well done, mate." Sirius chuckled as Lily squeezed his hand.

"She's not very good at magic, but that bitch knows how to piss me off. I should just shut her up more often." He laughed, his face returning to normal. "Lily, I'm sorry she called you-"

"Forget it. I've heard worse, believe me." Lily sighed, finally releasing his hand. Sirius furrowed his brow.

"What do you think she meant about me being with James?" He asked Remus, who shrugged.

"Probably one of her little jokes about how you two are gay together. She's hilarious, that one is." He responded. Sirius sighed, and the three of them continued down the stairs. Nobody was going to talk about the bombshell that Bella had just dropped, so they, after a few false starts, attempted to fall back into normal conversation.

"So you think James has lost it, then?" Sirius asked as they neared the Fat Lady. Remus shrugged, nearly meeting Sirius' eyes.

"How should I put this? Kinda?" He said delicately.

"Well, good thing I'm going to talk to him, then." Sirius sighed. "Victory." The portrait hole swung open and the three of them clambered through the entrance to the common room. Sirius gritted his teeth.

"I think I should probably do this alone, no offense." He said. Both Remus and Lily looked intensely relieved.

"If he tries to kill you, give us a yell, yeah?" Remus said, sinking into an armchair and looking extraordinarily tired. Lily followed suit.

"Good luck, Sirius…" she said. "We've got your back. Really." Sirius looked blankly at the two of them, and with a faint murmur of "Assholes…" began climbing the stairs. Swinging the door to the dorm bravely open, he took a step inside cautiously. James was sitting on his bed, a piece of paper balled up in his fist. He looked up and met Sirius' eyes. For a second, he again looked furious, so Sirius took a step backwards. Finally, his expression cleared.

"Padfoot."

"Prongs." Sirius took a few strides forwards.

"Listen, man. I can't excuse what I did last night. I've thought about it for a while and… well, you know I like Lily a lot, and Marauders really shouldn't steal each other's girls. I mean... that wasn't alright. But she was never going to even consider me, we both know that. Not after the Snape incident." Sirius opened his mouth, then closed it again. Should he tell James they had snogged again? No, he didn't much like suicide. "Anyway, if you want to be with her, it's…" James took a deep breath, looking very much like he needed to force the next part of the sentence out. "It's okay with me, I guess. Just don't be an ass and flaunt it." Sirius felt suddenly exuberant, but the dark part of him who was still resentful about having been beaten to a pulp spoke up.

"Couldn't have decided this before you went after me with a broken bottle, could you?" He drawled, then winced. "Sorry. That was an asshole thing to say." James stood up.

"About that. Listen man, you should know what's been going on. I haven't been fair to you, I haven't been fair to anyone. There was a reason I flew off the handle like that, and it wasn't just you and Lily." James tried to keep his composure, but the hand that was passing the balled up paper to Sirius shook, and for a moment, he looked just as catatonic as he had when Sirius had first entered. "I should have told you sooner, Padfoot." His voice was now highly shaky, but he forged on. "They meant as much to you as they did to me." When Sirius heard this, he knew the worst, but uncrumpled the paper to confirm the news.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_It is with deepest regret that we inform you of the deaths of Charlus and Dorea Potter. They perished with honor in a battle against the Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, though due to the nature of the struggle, we can share no more information with you at this time. Neither body was recovered. They have been awarded posthumous entry into the Order Of Merlin (Second Class). We are deeply sorry for your loss, and we urge you to contact the Department of Magical Defense with any questions._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Bartemius Crouch, Sr._

Sirius read the letter twice, before wordlessly passing it back. It was typical of the Ministry these days, terse and generally unhelpful. Of course, more and more letters just like this were being sent out every day.

"They were like parents to you. I shouldn't have told you like this." James said morosely.

"James, you can't just act like it didn't happen, like it doesn't affect you. They were your mum and dad." Sirius responded, feeling drained. "You just lost your family, mate. You can't block that out."

"I didn't lose all my family. I still have a brother, don't I?" James said, staring hard at Sirius. Sirius gulped. A million questions whirled through his head. Where would James go after graduation? What would he do? Well, Sirius had his flat in Diagon Alley. James would just have to live with him. He would take care of him when term ended and this finally sunk in as reality. Now, when they were so far away from it, they could pretend it wasn't true. The bodies weren't recovered, the letter had said. Maybe... He could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes, but his voice was steady.

"Forever, man. I'll always be your brother." The two of them turned to the stairway.

"Forgive me."

"Forgive _me_."

The world they were walking into seemed a bit darker. The carefree days of the Marauders were rapidly drawing to a close.


	7. Misery

And so things progressed, and became more complicated. James and Sirius walked down the stairs together, feeling much as they had before the argument, barring the yawning pit of loss they were both steadfastly ignoring. For the brief span of a minute or two, it seemed like everything would be alright again; then they hit the bottom stair, and things became dramatically awkward. Lily and Remus were sitting on their couches, trying to look like they hadn't just been gossiping about what might be happening upstairs. The group met eyes anxiously as a leaden silence fell in the Common Room, nobody wanting to speak first. Finally James, feeling more responsible than Sirius, spoke up.

"Erm." He attempted. Sirius turned to him and raised an eyebrow, wondering what he'd say next. Lily, for her part, had started to glare quite viciously at James, remembering her pact of the night before. Remus, finally removed from most of the drama, chuckled quietly, then turned it into a cough when everyone spun to stare at him. Sirius decided it was his turn to try and break the silence.

"Oy, let's go to lunch, yeah?" he suggested, pushing his lank hair out of his eyes and throwing on a meaningless social grin.

"Sounds good, mate." James said too quickly, hoping to be spared the indignity of explaining that they were friends again. He turned to Remus and Lily, not meeting Lily's eyes. "You lot coming?" Remus snorted with amusement, but, valiantly attempting to wipe the grin off his face, said,

"Sure, I'm a bit hungry," and smirked. He turned to look at Lily, who had pursed her lips. "Coming, Lily?" Lily looked grumpily at Remus, then at Sirius, then finally and most viciously at James.

"Fine." She said flatly, standing up in a stiff motion. She couldn't believe that James was welcome back with the Marauders, just like that. This was not the way things worked in the circles she traveled in. If James was a girl, he would have been ostracized for at least a week. And besides, she had pledged never to forgive him. Damn it, she was still violently pissed with him. So, acting with a surprising lack of prudence, she strode over and grabbed Sirius' hand. "Let's go, then."

Sirius shot James a look that was a mixture of shock, apology, and fear. James had zeroed in on Lily's motion, of course, and was glowering while trying to look like he wasn't. Remus blanched, waiting to see how the situation would unfold. Finally, realizing where his loyalties lay, or at least the most rational action, Sirius wrenched his hand from Lily's grip.

"Food!" He cried, jogging ahead, out of the reach of his criminally insane friends. Remus followed suit with relief. James and Lily were left momentarily alone in the common room, as Sirius and Remus got in a minor squabbling match about who was going to be first out of the portrait hole.

"Well? Coming, Lily?" James said quickly, wiping his face of any emotion and raising a tentative eyebrow. Lily glared at him for a few silent seconds, then finally deigned to respond.

"Marauders. The lot of you are bleeding idiots." She declared, looking over James' shoulder at Remus and Sirius, who were now wedged in the portrait hole and half heartedly taking swings at each other, neither willing to give way. "You've put me off my appetite." She said with frustration, and stormed up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. James gazed after her for a second, blinking, then shrugged, spun, and charged into his friends with such force that the three of them were expelled from the portrait hole. They lay on the ground in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, wheezing with laughter. Sirius clutched his side.

"Prongs, mate, I think you broke one of my ribs." He said, eyes glinting wickedly. "Agai-" He was cut off as Remus deftly drove an elbow into his stomach, and he doubled over, gasping for breath as the other two laughed. "Ah-" He gasped. "You just wait, Moony, until you're not paying attention. I'll mess your face up so bad that Pomfrey will be trying to mend it for years."

"What, like yours is now, Padfoot?"

"Shut it, James!" There was another minor squabble on the flagstones, then the three forced themselves to their feet, still laughing. James was loathe to kill the sudden, happy mood that had reemerged, but accepted what he had to do and cleared his throat. Looking at Sirius, then Remus, he shuffled a foot across the flagstones and said,

"Moony, I'm going to have to talk to you and Peter later tonight. There's something you should know too." Remus only had to look at James to realize what he had been missing, all the subtle signs that he had ignored the past few days as he had been preparing for his N.E.W.T.s, and felt his insides clench.

He recognized the look that was on his friend's face; he had seen it on too many friends already. It was the face Amos Diggory had worn three years ago, when news of the murders had just started, and it was the face of little Mary Sutherby only last week. Poor James. No wonder he had gone off the handle like that. Remus felt a sudden, sick sense of relief that, as messed up as his parents were in their own ways, they were still alive. Out loud, he only said, "Of course, Prongs. Tonight, when we figure out where Peter's gotten to." Well, it made sense, then, how quickly James and Sirius had made up. He had been expecting to referee spats between the two of them for months, probably even after they left Hogwarts. Of course, he would have gladly put up with that if he could have made this not happen to James, but.. no, he couldn't dwell on impossibilities. He had to put on a cheerful face, go down and eat lunch and lecture his friends about tests. That was his role to play in this scenario. Scratching at his head in a very wolflike manner, he said, "Come on, lads. I'm starving, and its fish and chips down in the Hall."

This was all the motivation James and Sirius needed. They immediately took off in a neck and neck sprint for the staircases, Remus jogging lazily behind them. He grinned as the two blew past a bewildered Peeves, who had been hovering at shoulder height to inconvenience everyone who walked through the hall. The momentum of the two boys made him spin a full three rotations in the air, before stopping to stare at an oncoming Remus, for once too nonplussed to say anything. Remus ducked under the poltergeist, laughing. Maybe things were back to normal after all. Well, he could only hope. He looked around, then charged after his friends in a full sprint too. You could only be a dignified prefect for so long.

Lily slammed the door to the girls' dorms furiously, before stomping over to her four poster and pulling the curtains shut. What was the matter with those boys, anyway? Every time she was convinced that they were growing up, they went and did something like this. She scowled bitterly, playing the past few hours over again in her mind. What had gotten into her, anyway? Why on earth would she have seen Sirius and thought, "Hey, there's a fellow I should probably snog?"

It was true, the two of them had gotten remarkably closer of late. She remembered how they had been foisted together in the first place. It was one of those interminable days in Potions class, where they were supposed to be brewing a Partnership Potion. She had paired up with Ellie Boot, and hadn't even needed to look over her shoulder to see that James and Sirius were at one table, Remus and a grinning Kirley McCormack at another (Peter hadn't had the brains for N.E.W.T. level potions, as it had turned out). She was just beginning to chop up her lilac root, when Slughorn had announced "Not so fast!" with a booming laugh.

"We are here to try and brew a potion that will foster friendliness between even the most dire of enemies. Trying this potion with a new partner will doubtless be easy for N.E.W.T. level students! So, let's see here, I made up a list.." he began digging in the pockets of his waistcoat, then shrugged in a rippling motion, and said, "Very well then. As I've misplaced the list of partners-" he grinned, inviting the students to share in his amusement. Toby Macmillan laughed dutifully. "-I'll assign them on the fly, shall I? Ah, how about... Potter and McCormack?" James looked at Kirley, shrugged and began lugging his materials over to the other table. "Ah, and that leaves Mr. Black alone." Slughorn said, sounding terribly amused. "Lily, you were saying the other day that you wanted to try more challenging potions," Lily didn't remember saying this, but she babbled quite a lot in an effort to make the Slug Club events a bit less dull, "so why don't you partner up with our neglected Mr. Black? Surely the two best potioneers in the class will produce spectacular results today!" He boomed with laughter again. Lily stared blankly at Sirius. When it became clear that he wouldn't move over to her table, she groaned and piled her materials in her cauldron, dragging the heavy pewter device to Sirius' workstation.

"Evening, Evans." Sirius said lightly, with that wicked grin that had charmed over so many girls over the years.

"It's eleven in the morning, Black." Lily had replied grumpily. "Listen, we'd better do this right, I'm not getting a bad grade-"

"At this juncture in your academic career." Sirius supplied helpfully. "Yes, I quite agree, Lily."

"Well then, _Sirius_," she had responded, "let's get a move on, shall we?" But when she peered in his cauldron, she was surprised to see that the first stages of the potion were already simmering in the bottom. "How did you- when did you start that potion?" She had said, bewildered.

"Oh, Professor Slughorn can talk for hours. I usually work right through his lectures." Sirius said with a shrug. "Pass me the powdered waterwort?" Lily wordlessly passed over the ingredient. Sirius, perhaps seeing that Lily was still feeling out of sorts, had added, "Idle hands make the devil's work, Evans." That had actually gotten her laughing, and the next hour had passed amicably enough. When they finally finished the potion, a full fifteen minutes early, both of them looked at it, a bit impressed.

"Shall we bring it up together, then?" Lily had asked.

"Of course, Evans. You can't get all the credit for my brilliance." Sirius had responded, the sort of reply that would have angered her before, but now she felt she understood. Sirius didn't actually think he was brilliant, he was just being acerbic. She had felt fairly idiotic for misunderstanding his sense of humor for all these years, but had merely grinned and said,

"Oh, go on then." The two of them walked the potion up to Slughorn.

"The end result of the meeting of minds." Sirius had said, presenting the potion with an elaborate flourish. Slughorn had beamed, uncorked the stopper and sniffed, and then ever so carefully dripped a tiny amount onto the two caged test rats on the front desk, who had been snarling and springing at each other for the entire class. The three of them watched with some amusement as the rats suddenly stopped trying to bite each other, and one began grooming the other's fur.

"Oho!" Slughorn had boomed, delighted. "The meeting of the minds, indeed! Sirius, Lily, I expect to see you working together for the rest of the class!" The two students had glanced at each other. This no longer seemed like such a death sentence. And so, they had begun working together in class, and then on Potions homework out of class, and then had began branching out to entirely different subjects. They worked extremely well together, and had even discovered that-

"We _need_ to talk." The noise of two of her yearmates coming in the door shook Lily from her silent reverie. "Did you even _hear_ about Lily?" Lily recognized the voice as Palwasha Patil.

"Oh my god, I know." That was Chrissy McLeer. "I saw her at the party last night. She was hanging all over Sirius, right? As if Sirius even liked her!"

"Ick, I know. So vile."

"So Sirius was talking to her or something because, I don't know, he felt sorry for her? Because, well, we all know that he's not over you, Palwasha." Palwasha sniffed as Chrissy continued. "And then all of a sudden, she like lunges at Sirius and is like, drooling on his face! It was so completely disgusting!" Chrissy exclaimed. "Seriously, she's a tramp. I mean, I love her and all, but boys aren't really her area of expertise. She should stick to books. You and I can take James and Sirius. Maybe even Remus too, if we're lucky. But Evans? Really?"

Lily couldn't sit quietly listening to this anymore. She coughed loudly, feeling a vindictive pleasure as the girls instantly fell silent. A second later, she heard the door slam shut again. Fantastic. Now, on top of everything else, she would have to put up with those two trying to make up to her. She groaned, then sniffled quietly. It was shaping up to be one hell of a day.


	8. Everything Hits at Once

8. Everything Hits at Once

James, Sirius and Remus emerged into the Great Hall and fell onto benches, chuckling. Remus was holding a stitch in his side, wheezing, causing the other two to heckle him mercilessly.

"See, Moony, that's why you should have made an effort to do something athletic here at Hogwarts. So you're no good on a broom, you still could have joined the Swimming Club, and learned about gillyweed besides!"

"Now that's not really fair, Prongs. I believe, according to our school charter, that the Arithmancy team counts as a sport." Remus glared at them, but they were off.

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, they work up a sweat, what with all those big numbers."

"Ah, yes, and the weight of their schoolbooks and enormous nerd glasses must help their muscular condition." Sirius responded. James cracked up until Remus snapped;

"Shut it, you two. Sirius, running from Filch doesn't count as exercise, and James? Your broom does all the work for you, you just rest your lazy ass on it." James and Sirius let out indignant squawks at this, and James began launching into a tirade about how Quidditch was really much harder than just sitting on a broom, while Remus ignored them both and began shunting chicken wings onto his plate. Eventually, Sirius got bored with the lengthy rant and turned his attention to food as well. James, realizing his audience was missing, trailed off and resentfully scooped baked beans onto his plate. It was clear that he was straining to act normal, and neither boy wanted to ask him to talk about his problems. That wasn't quite their relationship. So, they fell into a semblance of how lunch normally took place, with only a few awkward silences.

Sirius was gnawing his way through his seventh chicken wing, idly chattering with the other two about the upcoming exams, when his eyes fell on the Slytherin table. He was about to look away again when the unmistakable gait of Bellatrix came into view. She seemed to have regained the power of speech again, and she had met up with her usual crowd, talking about something that was apparently hilarious. Avery and MacNair kept doubling over with laughter, while Snape hovered by Bellatrix's elbow, an unpleasant look on his face. Then, Bellatrix suddenly turned and stared right at him, giving him a leering grin that made his skin prickle. He thought back to earlier that day, when they had the unpleasant run in on the stairs. He had shut her up, but she had surely won that contest, planting a seed of doubt in his friends' minds about how tolerant he really was.

And that last comment she made, about him being a good screw, well, he would never live that down. He hadn't ever actually slept with her (thank God), but there had defiantly been a few furious, pubescent make out sessions, back in the third year when he had been bottled up all summer at number twelve Grimmauld place, the only person his age his cousin, and arranged wife. How could he explain the situation to Remus or, god, Lily? Remus' parents showed every sign of rationality, and Lily, she was muggleborn and would be lucky to be never exposed to the seedy underbelly of the purebloods. The only person who had ever known about this was James, and he couldn't talk about his predicament to James now, not when his friend was hurting so much with his own, much bigger problems.

And then it hit Sirius, like it had struck him in the face. What had Bella said? "Shouldn't you be with dear James, Sirius?" She had already known. That slimy bitch had already known that his best friend's parents were dead. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking much like a fish. For a second, he couldn't say anything. He just stared blankly, his mind working furiously. Had Bella been responsible in some way for the deaths of Charlus and Dorea? Finally, Remus noticed that Sirius hadn't contributed anything to the conversation, and more extraordinarily had left a chicken wing half eaten on his plate.

"Sirius, mate, what's going on?" He asked, his brow furrowed. James looked at his friend as well, and tried to figure out where Sirius was staring, craning his head.

"Something going on at the Slytherin table, Padfoot?" James said, raising an eyebrow. Sirius turned to stare at him.

"Bella." He said flatly, but when both of his friends gave him odd looks, he continued. "We saw her earlier today. She said something about how I should be with you. Maybe it's nothing, but… I think she knew, James. I think she knew about your parents."

"What?" James had gone white. "Are you sure?" Sirius squirmed.

"Not one hundred percent. She might have just been trying to set me off, or making a bad joke." All three of the boys were now staring at Bellatrix. She had turned away from them and was miming a spell to her friends, but then, as one, they spun around and sauntered out of the Great Hall in a fashion that brought them very near James, Sirius and Remus. Bella walked especially close to Sirius, sniggering. Suddenly, like it had been planned, Sirius and James sprung into action, Remus only a second behind.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" That was James, yelling loudly enough that everyone in the hall spun in their seats to stare at them. Sirius had sprung out of his seat, knocking the short bench over and unseating several first years, and leapt at Bellatrix's frozen form. Avery, MacNair, Snape and Narcissa each dug in their pockets for their wands, but Remus had quickly figured out what was going on, as Sirius began trying to force back Bella's sleeves so that he could see if the Dark Mark was there. Remus had always been the best of his friends at defensive spellwork, and when he shouted the disarming spell, only Snape was left holding onto his wand, the other Slytherins gaping as their wands flew to Remus' extended hand. Glaring at Snape, Remus tried again.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

"_Protego!_" The spell bounced away. Snape was grinning madly now, greasy hair blown away from his face. Remus glanced at Sirius, who had given up on one arm and was now checking the other.

"Expellia-" Remus tried again, but with a sneer, Snape interjected.

"_Sectumsempra!_" He hissed triumphantly. Remus threw up a quick nonverbal shield spell, but it was knocked away by the force of his opponent's curse. He fell over, blacking out, a flash of crimson droplets his last recollection.

"THERE!" Sirius barked. Nestled in the crook of Bella's pale, slender arm, there was the unmistakable insignia of the Death Eaters. Bella bore the Dark Mark. James gave a wordless roar and lunged at the frozen Bellatrix, but tripped over the bench and fell to the ground, where he saw Remus lying. Snape leveled his wand at Sirius, while the other Slytherins, who had been dithering, climbed over the table to try to attack the Marauders. They hadn't, of course, reckoned with the rest of the student body.

Any good will Slytherin house had enjoyed with Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had disappeared over the past few years, when it became increasingly evident that most of the Death Eaters had been recruited straight out of the house. As a result, when the fight between the Marauders and Bella's friends began, it was only a few seconds before nearly everyone in the room stood up to try to help the Gryffindors out. As Snape, MacNair, Avery and Narcissa tried to fight their way to Bella, they were momentarily illuminated as many wands were drawn, favorite spells muttered. Sirius and James spun around to see nearly all the students who had been eating lunch behind them, launching curse after curse at Bellatrix's friends. The other Slytherins had chosen not to be involved, and were exiting rather quickly through a side door, casting nervous looks at the scene in the hall. However, not all of them were fast enough, and minor battles soon erupted on the other side of the hall. The few staff who were eating were looking terrified; Pomona Sprout had edged against the wall, while Hagrid didn't seem to know what to do. McGonnigal looked at the scene with an amount of resignation; a second later, her silvery cat patronus was squirming through the battle and out of the Hall.

Bella and her friends were no longer recognizable; Avery and MacNair had been covered with pulsing boils and were coated with what looked like earthworms, while Narcissa had been encircled by several female members of the Gobstones club, who were gleefully making retribution for years of tormenting by making her hair fall out, her nose grow, and her teeth become hideously uneven, while her body had become too corpulent to even move. Snape was in better shape, but still damaged- his arms had disappeared, leaving two tiny hands flapping desperately at his shoulders. Bellatrix, on top of being frozen, had been partially Transfigured by two Ravenclaw seventh years, who had both apparently had the same basic idea, with dramatic results- she seemed to be part squirrel and part frog, an unpleasant combination to say the least.

"ENOUGH!" There was a blinding flash of white light, and the spells still being hurled suddenly disappeared. Everyone's head swiveled to the set of great doors, which had blown open, revealing a furious Albus Dumbledore. The students glanced at each other and began backing away from the Slytherins; in a few seconds, there was a wide empty space around James, Sirius, the fallen Remus and the transfigured and hexed Slytherins.

Dumbledore approached, his face unreadable. "What is the meaning of this?" He said, looking in turn at James and Sirius. The two met eyes for a second, then responded simultaneously.

"They're all Death Eaters!" Sirius cried, while James said, in a furious, carrying voice;

"She helped kill my parents, Sir." There was a collective gasp from all the students in the hall, followed by a flurry of intense muttering that was silenced when Dumbledore spoke again. With a slight hesitation, the headmaster said,

"These are serious claims. Are you sure that they are true?" Again, Sirius and James glanced at each other, until Sirius spoke up.

"We know she's a Death Eater, Sir." He said, jerking his head at the hideously transfigured Bellatrix. "She's got the Dark Mark." He stared challengingly at Dumbledore, who looked calmly back, then surveyed the rest of the wreckage, finally noticing the bleeding Remus on the ground.

"Will somebody please take Mr. Lupin to the hospital wing?" He said quietly. The two Ravenclaw seventh years stepped forwards after a moment's hesitation, and conjured up a levitating stretcher under the boy, hovering him out of the room. Dumbledore again looked at Bellatrix with some trepidation. If Sirius could have guessed what was going on in the Headmaster's mind, he would have said that he was reluctant to see if one of his students really was a follower of Voldemort. But then, Dumbledore made up his mind. He waved his wand silently, the transfigurations disappearing. Bella was frozen in the same spot, her sleeve still bunched up. The Dark Mark glared starkly against her snowy skin. Dumbledore frowned and turned to the other Slytherins, looking at them considering, but then turned away again.

"Sir? Aren't you going to see if they have it-"

"No, Mr. Potter. I believe the students in this school have certain rights. I believe that these boys and girls were merely trying to defend their friend, not fighting for Voldemort." There was another collective gasp in the hall, this time in shock at hearing the name spoken aloud.

"But sir!" Sirius said.

"No, Mr. Black." Dumbledore said with a note of finality. "Now please, all of you, return to your dorms. If you are suffering from spell damage, please report to the hospital wing. Your heads of house will be making sure nobody exits their common room." McGonnigal and Sprout looked determined, and walked off. "Avery, MacNair, Snape, Black" Sirius looked up, but it became clear that the head was talking to Narcissa, "and Bellatrix Black, my office." James and Sirius waited for the demand that they accompany the Headmaster, but it never came. Dumbledore waved his wand again at the cursed Slytherins, and they immediately looked like themselves again, though they were all a bit slackjawed, and followed the head like a string of ducklings, leading James to suggest that Dumbledore hadn't just removed the curses, but also made them docile. He called after Dumbledore,

"Professor! Can we go see Remus in the hospital wing?" Dumbledore turned for a second.

"I believe I told you to go to your house." He replied, sounding just a tiny bit angry for the first time. After seeing their worried expressions, he relented slightly. "Mr. Lupin is not injured badly. He will be joining you in Gryffindor house shortly." And then, like a spell had been lifted, the Great Hall was suddenly cleared of students. James and Sirius stared at each other a final time.

"I hate to say it, mate, but we should probably do what he said." Sirius said, rubbing at a bruise on his head. James nodded, and the two of them quietly stalked back to the Common Room, each replaying the events of the past few minutes in their mind.


	9. Testify

News traveled faster than either boy expected. As they passed dawdlers and rebellious students, they all gave James wary glances. At first, James reasoned with himself that they merely saw the blood smeared on his face and robes, or perhaps already knew that they had been fighting in the Great Hall, but eventually he had to come to grips with the truth; his secret was out. After all, Sirius was looking just as bad, but nobody was giving him a second glance, which made him feel jealous of his friend for the thousandth time in twenty four hours. Everyone knew James' parents were dead, and they were giving him the sympathetic looks he had been trying so hard to avoid.

This was magnified when James and Sirius clambered through the portrait hole; the feverish conversation about the battle downstairs suddenly halted. James glared around the common room, daring anyone to offer condolences. But then, Dung Fletcher rose to his feet, slowly clapping. To both boys' surprise, the rest of the House followed suit.

"Um…" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow. "Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike the attention, but what's this for?" A dozen voices rung out around the room.

"You did it!"

"You actually caught a Death Eater!"

"Those Slytherin gits are going straight to Azkaban!"

"You stood up. You acted against actual evil, you didn't just sit around like the rest of us." Kirley offered.

"Dumbledore knows now! He knows there's Death Eaters in the school!" Each affirmation was met with more applause.

"I hope you're planning to be Aurors now." This voice sounded behind the two. Remus had arrived from the hospital wing to another round of clapping.

"Are you alright, mate?" Sirius asked, sizing him up. Remus looked rather pale but determined.

"Yeah, Snape barely got me, I had a shield spell up. Pomfrey fixed me in about two seconds. It sucked, though, I blacked out. I couldn't help more."

"No worries. That's why we work in a team." Sirius replied with a grin. James spun to stare at Sirius, like he had said something extraordinarily brilliant.

"Say that again, mate?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"What, that we work in a team?" Sirius asked. "What's the big deal about that, Prongs?" But James had stopped paying attention, his mind working in overdrive. There was a deal of chatter in the common room, but when James climbed up onto a chair, surveying the people crammed in the space, it went silent again. James cleared his throat, but something was driving him now. He had to speak to everyone while the moment was perfect. He closed his eves, then opened his mouth.

"Voldemort killed my parents." He announced. A few first years, who weren't well connected enough to have heard the news yet gasped, but most of the House looked solidly, albeit sadly at James. Nobody found it odd that he used the name now, not when he seemed so determined. "I knew about this two weeks ago, but I didn't tell anyone. Not even my best friends." He said, looking shamefacedly at Remus and Sirius, though he couldn't hide the wild light in his eyes. "I was embarrassed. I didn't want people to know. But you know what? They didn't give their lives for nothing. They didn't die so I'd be embarrassed of them. They died fighting the fight. They died trying to defeat the wizard that has been ruining people's lives, who's been taking the people we know, the people we love. I was afraid then. We're all afraid." He said, looking around the room at the people listening raptly. "But we can't live in fear any longer. Sirius, Remus and I acted blindly, but we discovered something today. The Death Eaters have two great weapons. They create fear, and they act in a group. If we aren't united, we're as good as done for. But you know what?" He snorted. "I'm tired of being afraid, and I bet you all are too. So, do we sit here like sheep, getting ready to be picked off by Volde-fucking-mort?" He scoffed.

"No!" Dung called out, pumping a fist in the air.

"Fuck that!"

"I'm not going down without a fight!"

"He can't take me!"

"Fuck the Dark Lord, man!" The Gryffindors gave up a cheer at the words of Kirley McCormack. James grinned dangerously.

"Listen. We have to work together from now on. Seventh years, we're graduating this year. Go into defense. Practice your spells. Talk to Dumbledore. Train to be an Auror. The rest of you, you're still in school, but as we've seen, the school is still a target. We need to put aside our differences now. That means more than just being nice to each other in the house. If Hogwarts as a whole isn't together, it _will_fall. Talk to Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, hell-" James looked incredulous, like he couldn't even believe what he was saying, "-even the Slytherins. They can't all be bad, right? Take Slughorn, he's a good guy. And if they're with us? They're not on his side." He looked into the eyes of everyone in the room, ardent stares pressing back at him from all sides. Even Kirley and Dung looked alert. Palwasha looked like she was nearly crying with earnestness. Sirius and Remus were at his back, looking at him with expressions of pride he rarely saw on their faces. And there, sitting behind a row of second years on the stairs to the girl's dorms, was Lily, hands balled into fists, looking straight at him, a look that was very similar to Sirius' and Remus' on her face. With this small bit of encouragement, James took a deep breath. "We won't be terrorized anymore. We won't be threatened anymore. From now on, we work together. It's the only way we'll ever win." He paused.

"Are you with me?" There was a second's silence. Then;

"I am." James looked for the source of the voice. Lily Evans had stood up, and was staring with utter seriousness at James.

"And me." Remus and Sirius chorused as one.

"I am." Kirley stood up.

"I am." Andorpha McLaggen joined in.

"And I!"

"And I." And then it was like a flood of replies. Everyone in the house was on their feet now, adding their affirmation.

"Potter?" a new voice entered. James spun around, leaping off the chair. Minerva McGonagall was someone you didn't want to catch you ruining furniture. Most of the house hadn't noticed, now talking excitedly amongst themselves, shining with a new found unity and purpose. James shouldered his way through the crowd until he got close to the Head of House.

"Yes, professor?" He said, eying her cautiously. To his surprise, she grasped his shoulder, looking intently at him.

"Potter, what I am about to tell you is the absolute truth. I came here to admonish you for the unfounded attack on those Slytherins." Her expression gained a note of reproach, "But when I arrived here, I heard you speak. That took a great amount of courage, Potter." James' eyes widened. Was he not being punished? "So, this is the truth. I have never been prouder of any student at Hogwarts, than I am of you right now." She said, squeezing his shoulder and letting go. "I will tell the headmaster what you've said- without the cursing, of course." She chided. "He has been thinking along the same lines for several years now. He is starting up an organization that I believe you, and Mr. Black, and Mr. Lupin, would be interested in upon graduation. It is called the Order of the Phoenix, but I've already said too much. If Professor Dumbledore believes you should join, he will doubtless contact you with more information. Oh, but Potter-" She blinked. James was alarmed to see that she was tearing up. "I am very proud of you. Now go. Talk with your friends. Dinner will be served in the common rooms tonight while Dumbledore interrogates those Slytherins."

The next few hours flew by, as the excitement of a unified cause gradually gave way into a party atmosphere, albeit a subdued one as McGonagall was right outside and most of them had overindulged the previous night anyway. James had settled down to talk with several second years and Remus about the prospects of the effort against Voldemort. James had already hissed to Remus and Sirius what McGonagall had told him about the Order of the Phoenix, leaving them both wide eyed and curious.

"I'm in." Sirius had said instantly. "Oh, and James? That back there? Pretty badass." James had grinned.

:"Don't know what came over me. I'm glad I said it, though. Somebody needed to." He had replied. Remus was frowning.

"D'you think Dumbledore'll let me into the Order? Me being a… you know what and all?"

"The furry issue?" James replied. "I bet he'll find you dead useful, Remus. You can talk to… people like you. Maybe even give Greyback what he deserves." Remus had grinned.

"I'd like that." He'd said rather evilly, then stared off into the distance, doubtlessly imagining the retribution he could wreak on the man who had turned him into a werewolf.

Now, as platters of food appeared in the common room, Sirius and Lily found themselves next to each other again. Sirius looked cautiously at Lily.

"Hey." He said tentatively, reaching for some garlic bread from the long buffet table that had suddenly forced its way into existence.

"Hey yourself." Lily responded, but then grinned.

"Erm. Sorry about earlier. I guess you know what was going on now." Sirius said. "Pumpkin juice?"

"No thanks. Yes, I was mad at you, but… I was being dumb." Lily admitted. "I didn't even realize what was going on with James. He's actually a decent guy, isn't he?" She said, wonderingly.

"Yeah, especially when he's not dealing with stuff like that on his own. That's why he went a little crazy, you know." He replied, loading potato salad onto his plate.

"You can't possibly eat all that." Lily said, feeling slightly sick as Sirius speared two slabs of steak onto his plate as well. "Yeah, I know. And I understand why you dropped me like that back then. I was being a prat. I wish I hadn't done that, it's just…" She trailed off and jerked her head toward a window seat. "Let's sit over there." Sirius felt his heart lighten, and followed her.

"It's just what?" he asked, sitting down with her. She promptly stuffed an entire piece of garlic bread in her mouth.

"Mmmph. Sorry." She said, grinning through her food. Sirius was torn between being grossed out and thinking that he had met the perfect girl. "I missed lunch. Being a prat, you know. I'm starving." She said, conjuring a fork and knife.

"It's just what?" Sirius tried again, doing the same trick and beginning to saw at his steak. Lily sighed.

"Well, here's the thing. Don't think I'm catty or anything. But, well, were you ever with Palwasha Patil?" She said, flushing. Sirius appeared to be racking his brains.

"Um, I think so. Maybe. I can't really remember."

"You think so? How many girls have you gotten with, then?" Lily asked, sounding slightly panicked.

"Oh, um, definitely. I definitely did. It was the fifth year, though. Not that big a deal. We just fooled around in the broom closet on the fourth floor after Potions one day." Sirius said evasively, eying Lily. Fortunately, Lily decided now was not the time to press the question, and laughed.

"The fifth year? Well, she still fancies you a bit, I think. Anyway, lots of people saw us… well, you know, last night. And, erm. Well. People seem to think that I jumped you, because a guy like you would never go for me?" She said, ducking her head. Sirius laughed.

"What, really? Are they mad? You're totally hot!" He exclaimed. "And smart and charming and you have an excellent sense of humor and a good temper!" He added belatedly as Lily glared at him.

"Yeah, well, I know you can't really remedy the situation, what with James and all. It's just awkward. So, if I'm grumpy, that's why." She said, scowling in the other direction. Sirius gently turned her face back towards him.

"Listen. When you get sick of me? Promise me you'll give James a chance?" He said. "Otherwise I think he'll kill me. For real." They both turned to look at James. James chose that moment to look up. He stared at them for a second, raised his eyebrow, and pointedly looked away, talking to the very pretty Maureen Edgecombe with a smirk that Sirius knew was directed toward him. _Just don't be an ass and flaunt it._ His words echoed in Sirius' head. Lily looked at Sirius.

"Was that permission, then?" She asked, a small smile curving her lips.

"You know, I think it was." Sirius replied glibly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Palwasha had been staring at them, and her jaw dropped open as Lily leaned into him, and Sirius bent down for a kiss, like they had been together for months. But conscious of James, he broke away quickly.

"I promised not to be an ass." He explained.

"He shouldn't make you promise impossible things." She replied, craning her head up to peck his cheek as he laughed. "Geez. Nice stubble. Go in for a shave, Black." Lily squeaked.

"But that would mean I'd have to shower!"

"Ewww!" She said, pinching him. But, as Sirius glanced at James again, they settled back against the window, his arm still around her, staring at all the other students.

"Do you think he's right? Do you think we can actually all work together to fight Voldemort?" Sirius had never been shy about saying the Dark Lord's name.

"You know," she sighed. "Before tonight, I wouldn't have thought it. But, and I never thought I'd say this in a million years, I have faith in James." They both looked out on the energized, excited students.

"We can do it."


	10. Which Side Are You On?

After surviving that day, which had seemed to all concerned like a year, the next two weeks flew by rather quickly. James' speech was the talk of the school; word had traveled fast, and to the Gryffindors' surprise, many people from other houses had been thinking along the same lines, but had been too afraid to speak up. As a result, interhouse unity had reached a new high, perhaps aided by the end of Quidditch season. Groups that were usually seen within their own houses were now mingling, with interesting results. Kirley, for one, was thrilled. Nearly all the Gryffindors knew that he was an excellent guitarist, but as there weren't many musically inclined people within the house, he had contented himself with waking everyone up early mornings by practicing loudly in the common room. But, having taken James' words to heart, he reported back just a few days later;

"Sirius, man, you're not going to believe this!" Sirius had glanced up at him from the Transfiguration essay he was working on.

"Don't tell me, you've just realized dreadlocks are a terrible choice for a guy as white as you are?" He had asked hopefully. Kirley shook his head, his dreads swaying emphatically around his face.

"Nah, man. Even better! I was in, um, Divination class today, right? And I started talking to that Slytherin bloke with the big hair?" Kirley had shrugged, apparently alarmed that he had worked up the good will to do so. "Anyway, turns out he wasn't a bad guy, just like James said. Says he doesn't like you-know-who either, that he really hates that group of Slytherins and reckons he just got put in the house because he's crafty as fuck, but not an asshole or anything. Anyway, get this. He plays drums really well, and he says he knows a bassist in Ravenclaw. Sirius, man, I'm gonna actually get a band together! No more soloing for me!" He had exclaimed joyously. To his surprise, not only had Sirius exclaimed happily, but nearly everyone else in the common room had too, realizing that they wouldn't be woken up early anymore.

Kirley wasn't the only person to take advantage of the fresh start. The Quidditch teams were playing scrimmages even though the season was over, usually switching up the players on the teams. James found himself flying alongside members of all four houses on one team more than once, which made him feel both bemused and pleased. He emerged from his depression rather spectacularly as time went by; in fact, he was often not even recognizable as the boy who had found pleasure bragging about the different ways he had tormented Snape. He had a purpose now, which seemed to make him more compelling than ever; for the first time, there was more chatter about James amongst the fans of the Marauders than Sirius.

Sirius would have been irritated about this fact any other time, but now that he seemed to be in some sort of relationship with Lily, he merely found it funny. It was an uncertain time for him. Sirius hadn't ever really… dated a girl, per se. His trysts were usually brief, furious, and over within a week. Then there was Lily, who he actually admired, who he found himself not wanting to hurt. He was careful not to insult her, scare her, rush her… but there was one area that he had difficulty broaching with Lily. She had discovered the day after James' impassioned speech that Snape had been one of the students with Bellatrix, and, despite her refusal to talk to him, had begun to vent her feelings on Sirius.

"He couldn't have known that she was a Death Eater, though, could he? He couldn't have had anything to do with… well, you know, with James' parents?" Lily had frequently asked Sirius. Sirius shrugged on these occasions. He didn't want to hurt Lily by saying what he honestly thought; yes, Snape could have easily been tied up in the dealings of the Death Eaters. He did, after all, seem the type, and as Sirius well knew after years of tagging along with James on whatever ridiculous prank the boy had planned for Snivelly, Snape was not above using the Dark Arts to get what he wanted. However, this line of thinking ended unpleasantly for Sirius, because when he made the next logical step, thinking of what Snape wanted, the answer seemed obvious. Snape? He wanted Lily. How far would the boy go to try and win Lily back?

Snape had, to the disgust of all the Gryffindors, not been expelled after the fight in the Great Hall. He had reappeared in classes two days later, looking more sullen than usual. It had taken all of Sirius' powers of persuasion to stop James from jumping him whenever he saw him; he didn't particularly care what happened to Snape, as long as it hurt the boy, but he didn't want Lily more upset than she already was. James grudgingly obliged, though a few times over the course of the next two weeks, Snape had to report to the Hospital Wing for mysterious new appendages than sprouted up over his body at odd times. James was never willing to admit his involvement in these events, but as Remus noted one day to Sirius, his invisibility cloak had of late often been missing from the bed post it usually hung on.

Now, two weeks after the fight in the Great Hall, the Marauders and Lily were about to get ready for dinner, after a long day of obsessive studying. Lily was quite strict on this, and Remus was grateful for the extra help in keeping his friends in line. Sirius didn't want to anger his girlfriend, and James had discovered that hanging out with Kirley and Dung instead of studying got incredibly boring after the subjects of enchanted toilets and x-ray glasses charms were exhausted, so he had joined his friends in the library as well. Surprisingly enough, they hadn't had that bad a time of it, as they had been studying Defense Against the Dark Arts, a subject they were all interested in. Even so, a Sunday of studying was wearing thin on James and Sirius, so they had taken to dropping subtle hints that it was time to go to dinner.

"Man, James. It's _riddikulus_ how hungry I am."

"I'm _stupefied_ that we haven't left for dinner yet, Sirius." Lily glared at the two of them, then looked at her watch. Oh. So it was seven thirty. No wonder they were complaining.

"Well, I suppose we could go, if you lads want." She said, attempting to sound remorseful. With a wicked grin, she added, "Or we could go through this stack of flashcards again, if you want." That was enough for James and Sirius; they were on their feet and bolting for the door before Lily had finished saying "flashcards." Lily glanced at Remus, who was dutifully packing up the books James and Sirius had left behind, and chuckled. "C'mon, Remus, before those two eat all the food in the Great Hall." Remus slung the books into his bag and ambled out of the library with Lily, where they met James and Sirius in the hallway. Apparently Sirius had remembered it might be rude to sprint off and leave Lily behind. They all set off for the Great Hall chatting amicably. This was the oddest change for Lily, how she now found herself fully ensconced in the Marauders' routine. Before, she had always had Severus, until that fight last year, to hang out with, and this year she had settled on hanging out with various girls from the Gryffindor dorms. But now, dating Sirius, things had changed. She seemed to suddenly be part of a group, worse still, a group she had always shunned. She was forced to realize now that she had been unfair to the boys; at heart, they were all kind, brave and loyal, even if they were occasionally (okay, frequently) immature. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had always seemed-

"Wait a minute." Lily suddenly said, interrupting Remus' idea about a camping trip after school let out. The boys turned to look at her. "Hey, sorry Remus, but where's Peter been recently? I can't think of the last time I've seen him, and I've been hanging out with you lot in all my spare time these past few weeks. Where's he been?" Sirius looked at James.

"I thought he was hanging out with you?" He said, raising an eyebrow. James shrugged.

"I sorta thought he was hanging out with Remus." He responded. Remus too looked bewildered.

"Not me. It's been a Peter free existence since…" He thought hard. "Last time I really remember seeing him was the night of the fight." Lily looked at them, slightly frustrated.

"Well, has he been sleeping in your dorm, then?" She asked, staring at Sirius. Sirius racked his brains.

"Well, yeah, we'd all walk in and he'd already be asleep there most of the time."

"Except last night. And, night before that." James interjected. The news that Peter wasn't actually missing made Lily sigh with relief.

"Whew. Sorry, guys. It's just that I'd feel really bad if he had disappeared or-" the threat of the Death Eaters was clearly on her mind as she said, "-or something. You know." They all shrugged at each other and headed into the Great Hall. "Still, let's keep an eye out for him, okay?" Lily suggested.

"Of course." Sirius answered, scanning the still packed Hall for empty seats at the Gryffindor table. "Oh, look. There he is." He quickly added. "That wasn't hard at all." Peter was sitting in solitude at the end of the Gryffindor table; although the rest of it was packed, there were four or five seats on either side of him.

"That makes me want to cry." Remus said earnestly. "Come on, let's cheer Wormtail up." Lily furrowed her brow; she still didn't understand why the Marauders used such bizarre nicknames for each other, but followed. When the group sat down around Pettigrew, he looked up with an expression of shock, mouth full of beans.

"Gross, Peter." James said helpfully. Peter swallowed quickly, looking flustered, then beamed at them all genially.

"Oh, hey there guys!" He said, in a voice that was just a tad too cheery. "How are you all doing?" Sirius frowned.

"Well, we're all fine, Peter, but where have you been, man? We've been wondering why you weren't hanging out with us!" He lied. Lily chuckled at this abrupt about-face, but, meeting Peter's stare, turned it into a cough. Peter blinked.

"Oh." He said, eyes darting to the side. "Well, I've been cramming for the NEWTs." At the incredulous glances of the Marauders, he elaborated; "No, really. I have been."

"Well, why didn't you study with us, then?" James asked, bewildered. Peter fumbled with his fork for a second, then sighed dramatically.

"Well, it's just… you're all so much smarter than me." He moaned, staring down at his plate. Lily looked at him with unabashed pity, but the three boys were shooting glances at each other. None of them were quite sure they bought it. Peter continued, "I've been going in for extra practice sessions every day." He sighed again. "And I should go and work some more now. See you lot later." He stood up with the air of someone very glad to be gone, and scampered out of the Great Hall.

James looked around, mouth slightly open. "Now... what do you think _that_ was about?" He muttered, eyes wide. The other three looked at the retreating form of Peter Pettigrew.

"Beats me, mate." Sirius said carelessly, though his expression said that he was thinking about it harder than he was willing to admit. Lily shrugged, not really privileged into the inner workings of Peter's mind. Remus' frown deepened.

"I don't know…" He trailed off. "We'll have to ask him later." He quickly added as his stomach gave a loud rumble, and began piling food onto his plate. It was near to the full moon, and he was already looking sickly and eating unnecessary amounts of food. James and Sirius, who ate unnecessary amounts of food anyway, nodded and grinned, beginning to fill their own plates. Lily stared at the exit for a second more, then chuckled and joined in.

Outside the Great Hall, Peter had paused, and leaned against a wall. He hadn't expected an interrogation of that magnitude. He wiped his brow, wordlessly congratulating himself on the diffusion of the situation. His friends- no, he caught himself, friends was the wrong word. He had only one real friend now. He nervously touched the crook of his arm over his cloak for a second, then disappeared down the hall that led to the dungeons.


	11. Say Anything

As time passed, Lily couldn't help but notice several strange things about the boys she'd been hanging around. For one, they could often be seen passing around a bit of old parchment, particularly James and Sirius. And yet, whenever Lily approached, it was quickly tucked away into a robe pocket, or James would mutter something under his breath and by the time she'd reached them, they'd be examining a scrap of obstinately blank paper.

This had caused the first notable argument between Lily and Sirius, though there were other things going on beneath the surface as well. They'd taken to finding a few minutes before bedtime to sneak away from the others, which had a bit of added difficulty, given that even though James was okay, amazingly, definitely, not in the least forced, assuredly okay with them dating, the look he'd given Sirius the one time the boy had suggested he might borrow the invisibility cloak so he and Lily could have a bit of private time, it could have killed. Luckily, Sirius still knew the castle better than nearly anyone, and even on those nights where neither of them felt like taking the risk of going to the Room of Requirement, well, there were other places to hide away closer to the common room. One such night, only a few days after the awkward encounter with Peter, things had come to a head. Sirius had located one of his favorite spots, a disused Divination classroom with cushions on the floor and a transparent ceiling, and they were lying down, Lily in the crook of his arm, staring at the moon.

"Just tell me what it is." She'd cajoled after a moment. Sirius had heaved a sigh, looking obstinately at the ceiling. The moon was waxing. In a day or two, he'd need to find an excuse to slip away for the next few nights. Remus was getting cagey, irritable, and that night at dinner he'd eaten nothing but a great pile of roast beef, all the while complaining that it was overcooked.

"It's nothing. Bit of a joke between me and James." He'd replied. "And Remus and Peter, of course."

"Of course." Lily had sighed. "Another one of your Marauder things. Sirius, I don't appreciate being left out of things. Don't you trust me?"

"I do!" Sirius had complained. "Of course I do! It's just... we agreed a long time ago, that there would be some things that we just wouldn't tell anyone else about, not girlfriends, nobody."

"What harm could it possibly be, telling me what's on that paper?" Lily snapped. Sirius rolled over to look at her, his brow furrowed.

"Only breaking a promise. I tend to take them seriously." He'd responded, sounding a bit accusing. Of course, this had made Lily feel bad, and she'd responded in a worse way.

"Bet James would tell me." She looked peevishly at Sirius, raising her head so it was no longer resting on his arm. Sirius' eyes narrowed.

"Bet he would." He drawled. "Nobody's barring you from dating him instead, Evans."

"Sirius, that's not what I want." Lily replied swiftly.

"Then stop comparing me to him. If you want him, get him. I already told you that I wouldn't be upset." Sirius said darkly.

"So you wouldn't fight to keep me, is what you're saying." Lily demanded. "Because I'll tell you this, Sirius. I like you. I like you a lot. But I can't stand how the four of you have this ridiculous need to be so damn secretive. I mean, what's left to know? What am I missing?"

"Just stop prying!" Sirius had exclaimed, and stalked away, leaving Lily amongst the cushions on the floor. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't going to tell her about Remus, and it would be an overstep at this point to ask Remus to tell her himself. They'd been dating a month. Less than a month. This wasn't the time to be spilling all his friend's secrets, right?

Lily had remained there for some time, fuming. The truth was that James would have told her, at least about the Map, and she knew it. For the first time, she wondered why she was spending so much time with Sirius, and so much of it was spent dancing around James. It was very nearly like she was dating both of them. Just the previous night – oh, she burned with embarrassment to remember it – just yesterday, both she and Sirius had decided a trip to the Room of Requirement was highly in order, having not had a moment alone all day. The second they'd passed the barrier, back into the replica of Lily's muggle room, they'd been kissing furiously. Cloaks were discarded within seconds, and then a short while after that, they were both lying on her four-poster, in a pose that would have given her mother a heart attack. He wanted her, she could tell. She didn't precisely need to guess when they were lying that close, their hips pressed together. She'd never done anything like this before, but there was a powerful, intoxicating feeling in the air, and she was unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt, one by one, and he was doing the same to her, and there was something nice about it, that this was real, that their wands were on the floor somewhere and they were just doing this. If this were the night she lost her virginity, well, that would be just fine with her, and she wanted to show him that.

After their shirts were off, it seemed like a natural progression to go for his pants, so she daringly moved her hand lower, her heart pounding like she'd never heard it before, partly from nerves, partly from the way he was nibbling at her neck. His pants were undone now, and her hand was shaking just slightly as she reached to softly stroke him. That, more than anything else, had torn his lips from her neck, and he was staring fervently at her, letting out a low groan that was nearly animal as her hand continued to move. She felt like she needed to explain suddenly, in case she was doing something wrong, in case... she didn't know. "I've never done this before." She whispered. The intense, pleased look on Sirius' face suddenly shifted.

"Never?" He repeated, and imagined in a flash, James' face as he heard that Sirius had taken Lily's virginity. He couldn't do that to James, not now, not after his parents. He was clearly hurt enough every time he saw Sirius and Lily trade even a quick kiss. Although it hurt to do so, Sirius gently moved Lily's hand away, while Lily stared at him in open confusion.

"Why?" She sputtered, as Sirius swiftly refastened his pants.

"You should be in love your first time, Evans. Trust me. It cheapens it otherwise." Well, Sirius would be one to know. "Besides, he'd murder me. And you don't want me murdered, do you?" There was no question to which 'he' Sirius was referring. Lily sighed, very softly, and then reached for her shirt. Sirius gave her a kiss that was more apologetic than anything else as she got it back on, but something was gone already. They spent the rest of the evening holding each other, not saying much, just clinging to the sense of security from the nightmares outside Hogwarts that being with each other provided. But later that night, thoughts had come to Lily about the way Sirius had pulled away from her, and just how much of that had to do with James' potential reaction. If he really cared about her, would he really care that much about James' feelings? Still, the brief, furtive glance that James would give her when they returned to the common room, as if he was looking for something to be different about her and dreading it at the same time, that would make even her feel guilty.

And then had come the fight, and now, the next morning, tensions were still high between the two of them as they sat at the breakfast table. Remus watched them moodily, poking at an egg on his plate. James was steadfastly ignoring that anything was wrong, as he'd become very good at doing the past few weeks. Finally, Remus looked at James,

"'S tonight." He said testily. James frowned.

"You sure? Thought it would be tomorrow?" He muttered. Remus arched an eyebrow.

"Think I would know." He said pointedly. "So clear your schedules, yeah?"

"Hang on. What's going on?" Lily asked, her brow furrowed. Remus glanced at Sirius.

"So you haven't told her?" He said accusingly. Of course, everything sort of sounded unpleasant when Moony was approaching his change. It wasn't his fault, so the others had long ago come to terms with it. Sirius frowned.

"Of course not." He said, which earned him a glare from Lily.

"Is that why you two are bickering?" Remus snorted.

"Bickering? Are you guys bickering?" James played innocent. Sirius scowled at everyone.

"She'll figure it out soon enough." Remus said bleakly after a moment. "She's the smartest witch in our year. If she doesn't find out, Snape'll tell her."

"Wait, Severus knows your little secret? What on earth?" Lily said, glancing reflexively over her shoulder to the Slytherin table. Snape, as usual, was staring hungrily at her. "And he wouldn't tell me, whatever it was."

"Yes he would." James chimed in. James and Snape understood each other quite well, in a way. Both of them always wanted the same thing, but found it just out of reach.

"Well, for fuck's sake, just tell her. You're giving me a headache." Remus said testily. "She won't tell anyone. She'd better not."

"Remus. You're fucking joking." Sirius said flatly.

"I'm not. Don't want to deal with the bullshit of you tiptoeing around this for the next few weeks. Let's just focus on surviving until graduation, yeah?" Remus snarled, tossing his copy of the Prophet at him, where the headline flashed "YOU-KNOW-WHO PLANS HOGWARTS INVASION." James rolled his eyes.

"Prophet's been saying that for months now. He wouldn't. He'd hurt too many purebloods in the process. And besides he's still recruiting right out of-"

"Not the point, James." Sirius sighed. Lily looked at all of them with wide eyes.

"Just tell me." She begged.

"Fine, let's put it to a vote. Not just your secret." Sirius proposed, looking at Remus. "All in favor of telling her," and James and Remus instantly raised their hands. Of course James would want to tell her. Sirius hesitated for a moment. "What about Peter?"

"Peter sticks with the majority." James snorted. "Just tell her. Or do you want me to?"

"No! No. I'll do it. C'mon, Lily. Let's go for a walk." Sirius said, and pushed up from the table, feeling tremendously uncomfortable about all of this. This was a lot of truth to dump on Lily. Remus a werewolf. The other three Animagi, unregistered Animagi at that, who spent a few nights a month romping around the Forbidden Forest with their savage friend...

Lily looked thankfully at James. "Thank you." She breathed, and followed Sirius, her brow furrowed again, unable to even fathom what was so important to be hushed up.


	12. Doghouse

12. Doghouse

_Hey guys. Write reviews. Makes me feel special. Tell me if there's anything in particular you want to see, and I'll see if I can accommodate. Also, if anyone's interested in being a beta, that would be killer._

Sirius led Lily apprehensively through the halls. At least it was daytime and they didn't need to worry about being caught hiding out somewhere they shouldn't be past curfew.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked, pushing her hair out of her face.

"Back to the Room of Requirement." Sirius hissed. "This isn't something that would be remotely okay to be overheard talking about." Lily frowned at this, but moved quietly behind him. At this point, she didn't have any idea what to think. She should be irritated, she knew that, and part of her was. But mostly, she was just deathly curious as to what would make all of the boys so anxious. What information was she about to be let in on? Was it something she really wanted to hear?

They approached the wall, and Sirius paced quickly back and forth, saying, "I need a place where I can tell Lily the secret. I need it so that nobody else can possibly enter or overhear until I'm done telling her." He didn't give it much more direction, but after a moment or two, the door appeared in the wall. Sirius pushed it open, holding it for Lily, and stepped quickly inside.

The room was small, the walls lined with books and photographs, all of the Marauders, laughing, smiling, occasionally recovering from wounds. On each wall of the room, a different painting dominated the décor, one, a cottage with a friendly looking dog fast asleep on the porch, another a deep forest where the barest glimpse of a lupine figure darting between the trees was visible. The other paintings depicted a dank dungeon, where a rat was skittering along a support beam, and then a mountainside, where a familiar stag was looking regal. Lily took this all in with wide eyes, before staring uncomprehendingly at Sirius.

"I don't understand." She murmured after a moment. "Was this supposed to help?" Sirius sighed, and took a deep breath.

"You have to understand, this is more about Remus than anyone else." He said, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Then why isn't Remus telling me this himself?" Lily demanded. Again, Sirius sighed.

"Remus is in a bad mood. We try not to piss him off when he is." He could practically hear James snickering in his ear that it was Remus' time of the month, but chose not to share that tidbit. He glanced around helplessly, looking for a book that would just explain all of this and get it done with. Maybe he was looking for more than that. What if Lily reacted like they so feared everyone else at school would? What if he ruined this, and Remus never forgave him? He gnawed his bottom lip, and spoke again. "Have you ever noticed that Remus is ill fairly frequently?"

"Of course. Everyone's noticed. Seems like it's every couple of weeks that he catches another cold, or the flu, or he gets his nose charmed off or something. Bit of bad luck." Lily said, her brow furrowed. "Sirius, is he really ill? Is that what's going on?" Sirius winced.

"In... a way." He muttered. "I can't think of a way to tell you this. We all ganged up first year, of course. Me and James, we met on the train, and then Remus, and then James picked up Peter and we all liked him enough too. We fancied ourselves the biggest thing to happen to this school."

"Called yourselves the Marauders, yes, I remember. Right pain in the arse you lot were." Lily said with a half smile.

"I'm not arguing." Sirius smiled in spite of himself. "The point being that we were close. And so we didn't miss the fact that Remus was disappearing every four weeks either. Always at night, he'd be gone. Bit hard to not notice, really." He frowned for a second, then finally continued. "James figured it out first, since he'd read the most Defense Against the Dark Arts books. Little berk. See, Remus … Lily? Have you ever heard of Fenrir Greyback?" Sirius finally forced out. Lily thought this over for a moment, until her face turned chalk-white.

"Fenrir Greyback. The werewolf." She murmured, almost under her breath. "He's one of You-Know-Who's... oh god. Remus. Is he alright?" Her eyes were suddenly wide, too wide, as she tried to think of what Remus had looked like, if he'd had any disfiguring scars she'd somehow overlooked, any markings from a long ago mauling... Sirius shook his head.

"He got bit." He said darkly. "He was just a baby. Just playing in the yard. And now... a few nights a month, come moonrise, he's not himself." He felt exhausted, just getting this across to Lily. And they weren't done yet.

"Poor Remus." Lily whispered, eyes locked on the furtive wolf in the painting directly across from her. "Where does he go? When he changes? Does Dumbledore know? Sirius, are you lot, you know, safe?" She asked, somewhat frantic. Sirius picked through her questions as fast as he could.

"Dumbledore knows." He sighed. "Of course Dumbledore knows. And sometimes he goes to the Shrieking Shack to-"

"-But everyone knows it's haunted!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yeah, haunted by him. He's the titular shrieker." Sirius snorted, unable to help himself. "But he hates it. Makes him miserable. Made us miserable to see him like that, too. So we, um... back in first year, we decided we'd do something to help him."

"Sirius, there's no cure." Lily murmured. "There's... nothing. That's what happens when you're a werewolf, you go out of your mind, you want to savage any person who comes near you..."

"Any person. Exactly. But we read and read, and we found that werewolves, they're not like real wolves. They don't hunt animals." He said softly. "So we found a way to be with him when there was a full moon. There's a lot of spells that can change your shape into an animal, you know, advanced enough transfiguration, but they take too much time to cast, and they don't make you an animal, not really. James didn't think it would be enough, to just change our outsides. We had to go deeper than that. But there's only one way to do that, to actually _become_ an animal..."

"Animagi." Lily whispered. "You don't mean to say... you were first years! There's no way!"

"It took us until third year to get it right. Just in time, too. Remus was looking grayer each time he came back."

Lily pursed her lips, thinking, and suddenly erupted. "Of all the stupid – you can't actually expect me to believe any of this, you know. There's a registry for Animagi, I read about it! You can't just become one. And the amount of work it takes... nobody would do that just to pal around with their werewolf friend during the most dangerous nights of the month! It's absolutely absurd..." She trailed off, as Sirius groaned and pulled his cloak off. "And now really isn't the time for that, Sirius!" She snapped. This actually coaxed a chuckle from him.

"Watch me." He murmured, and carefully laid his wand down on the bookcase, before acquiring a look of distant concentration. And then suddenly, he was folding into himself, landing with a muffled noise on soft paws that hadn't been there a second ago. Lily stared at him in absolute shock, the effect of which was dimmed to Sirius' dog instincts, fighting with his rational thoughts as usual. He sniffed the air several times, each puff of air like a firework exploding in his head. God, she smelled good!

He padded carefully closer, giving her a doggy grin. Lily still hadn't moved, her eyes fixed on him. He whined softly, dropping to a seat in front of her. His tail thumped the floor in a steady rhythm as he attempted to coax a response from her, which was difficult when part of his head was screaming that it would be a very good idea to bury his nose right between – well, never mind that. He whined again, a bit louder, and unsubtly pushed his head under the hand dangling limply at her side. Lily made an incredulous noise, but after a minute, she began to mutely pet his head, now looking with wonder at the other paintings. Almost reflexively, she moved to scratch behind his ears, and Sirius let out a bark of laughter, his tail thumping faster. This was new. He'd only been in this form around the lads, and they weren't precisely the sort you wanted to scratch you behind the ears. It really was a godsend that James had antlers, really, because it would have been awful if Wormtail had been forced to catch a ride on his head rather than clinging to James' horns.

Lily spent a while longer, absently petting him as she looked off into the distance, then dropped down on a knee to lock eyes with him.

"Can you talk like this?" Sirius shook his head. "Then change back, please. You can, right?" Sirius whuffed, and abruptly shifted back to his human form, her hand now tangled in his hair. She stared at him uncertainly for a moment longer, then closed the distance between them to kiss him carefully. When she broke away, she settled down next to him. The floor shifted obligingly to thick carpet, large pillows that hadn't been there earlier suddenly conveniently placed around them.

"It's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my entire life, of course." She whispered after a moment. "You lot. You'd do anything for each other, wouldn't you? Becoming bloody animagi just so Remus wouldn't get too depressed."

"We've done much dumber things than that." Sirius assured her innocently. She sighed, and looked up at the paintings again.

"So Remus is the wolf. Moony. Of course. And Wormtail... Peter has to be the rat. Makes sense." She said. Sirius choked on a laugh. "James is the deer. Prongs, that's what you call him."

"I think he prefers to say he's a stag." Sirius offered.

"I bet he does." Lily laughed, still sounding dazed. "'S funny, my Patronus, it's a doe." Sirius frowned at that, not liking any of the implications that she hadn't even realized were loaded into that sentence. "And you. Padfoot. You're a... dog? Bit big for a dog." Sirius shrugged modestly. "Oh, that makes so much sense!" She exclaimed suddenly. Sirius made a quizzical noise, and Lily flushed bright red. "I mean... oh, nothing." She'd been thinking back to the catty advice more than one of Sirius' ex-lovers had given her as news of their dating had spread around the castle, regarding Sirius' apparent obsession with a certain sexual position, which she couldn't think about now, because she was just getting redder and redder. "What's it like?" She asked quickly, just to shake any questions.

"Like nothing on earth." Sirius admitted. "It's not just changing shape. I mean, that takes about a second. Doesn't hurt, either. It's like you're opening a part of you that you always knew was there, but you could never get at before. You just concentrate, and it spills out of you. I mean, I'm not a human who looks like a dog when I'm like that. I'm a human sharing a big dog's head. Sometimes, I even find myself thinking like that when I'm not covered in fur-" Lily blushed again, "and sometimes, when it's just me and the lads out running on a full moon, I can almost forget that I am human. Lily, it's amazing. The smells! You wouldn't believe it! I can smell something, and I'll know what it is, where it's been, who touched it last, who touched it before that... and moving! God, people are puny. We can barely even move without toppling over! But when I'm a dog, it's like nothing can stop me, like I'm just muscle and bone, and god, the feeling of the wind running through your fur..." He trailed off, a half smile on his face.

"You love it." Lily surmised.

"Well, I was lucky." Sirius murmured. "Imagine, letting that secret part of yourself spill out only to find you're a rat." He glanced at the picture of Wormtail, frowning slightly. "Poor git." He added. "But me, I'm just a big puppy. Not half as majestic as our friend Prongs, nor as excitable as Moony. But I do alright." Lily thought about this, very nearly smiling.

"I'm pretty sure I like you best like this." She finally murmured. "But I can tell, Sirius. It was your idea to do this, to become Animagi, wasn't it?"

"It was." Sirius confirmed. "I suppose I knew what it was like, to feel isolated and... unwanted for being different. Got that enough at home. He didn't need to feel it too."

"It's not just that, though." She said, and smiled sweetly. "You're... loyal. You'd do anything for the people that earn your trust, wouldn't you?"

"I would." Sirius answered solemnly. "They're all the family I've got." Lily sighed.

"You realize this makes it impossible to stay even a little irritated with you about the other night." She said, almost reluctantly.

"I thought it might." Sirius gave her a wide grin. She shook her head, laughed softly, and then said,

"You're going out tonight?" Sirius nodded. She searched his face, and kissed him softly after a moment. "Try to stay in one piece, okay? And keep James and Peter and Remus safe?" Sirius let out a low chuckle, and kissed her once more.

"Easier said than done, Evans." He murmured, and settled into a happy time where she was giving him kisses full of wonder, and he was thinking to himself that when it came down to it, he felt quite loyal to her too.


	13. The Past and Pending

_Hey-_

_If you get this far, please do review. It's kinda what keeps me writing, knowing that people are actually appreciating it! Thanks!_

13) The Past and Pending

Lily and Sirius stayed there for a while, just like that. She eventually settled onto his lap, and was whispering questions in between kisses.

"What was it like, the first time? Did you know what you'd be turning into?" She murmured against his neck.

"No. We didn't have any idea, any of us. Was a bit awkward, because we didn't know about this room until the fourth year, so we always had to find different hiding places to work spells and brew potions. It really did take three years of solid work, you know? So we snuck out of the castle that night. It was a half moon. We went out one by one, under James' invisibility cloak, keeping an eye on the Map, even though it was only half finished..."

"The map?" Lily had caught onto the invisibility cloak in the sixth year, as it hadn't been a closely guarded secret, but the map she knew nothing about.

"Oh, yeah. We made this map, see? The parchment you've been seeing us pass around. Shows exactly where everyone in the castle is at any time." Lily frowned at that.

"Bit creepy." She muttered after a moment.

"Well, we made it for Filch, understand? Because we were always on the lookout for new places to work, and we never knew where he'd pop up. But then James thought to add all the professors to the map, and then I figured it might just be easier to keep track of everyone..." Sirius blushed. "Anyway, it's come in handy, even if it is creepy."

"Fine." Lily sighed. "At least I know what it is. So you went out of the castle, and..."

"Can I just show you?" Sirius proposed after a second, reaching over for his wand off the bookshelf and holding it to his temple. Lily blinked as the silvery threads of memory began to wind around his wand, and moved off of his lap to find a stone basin conveniently in a cabinet. Sirius transferred the memory into the Pensieve awkwardly, and the two of them stared down at it. "Ladies first." He uttered after a moment, and followed her shortly after into the memory.

Sirius and Lily crested a hill outside of the castle, looking around. "There." He announced, spotting James and Remus along the treeline, each thirteen years old and looking anxious. A second later, a much younger Sirius flashed into view next to them, as he carelessly tossed the Invisibility Cloak off.

"Peter's turn." James muttered. The other two heaved sighs.

"He remembers how to use Accio, right?" Remus said softly.

"Sometimes." The younger Sirius groaned. As he spoke, the Cloak twitched feebly towards the castle. With several false starts, it made its way across the field and into an open window. Several minutes later, Peter appeared from underneath it, red faced.

"Why did I have to go last?" He complained. "I'm the worst at this stuff..."

"Because." Sirius said flatly. "That's why." Beside the elder Sirius, Lily rolled her eyes. ("I know," Sirius replied, shrugging at her. "I was a prick. Still am, really.")

"Okay, who should go first?" Remus asked.

"I'm going first. Not going to be stuck last if you all can't control it and run off." Peter insisted. James and Sirius looked at each other.

"Just as well." James said, and pulled from his pocket three tiny flasks filled with thick, maroon liquid. "Here you are, Peter. Cheers." Peter stared at the vial, and accepted it with trembling hands.

"Wish me luck." He said to nobody in particular, opened it, and downed it in one gulp. The other three leaned closer, looking for any sign of a change. Peter hesitated, then shrugged. "Suppose it didn't-"

Very suddenly, Peter was squeaking in a puddle of robes, staring up at the other three. The tiny rat rose to its hind legs, held out a foreleg so that it could see, and let out a very loud, panicked series of squeaks. It took a split second for James to start laughing, and Sirius chimed in a second later, Remus almost reluctantly following suit.

"What is it, a squirrel?" Sirius drawled.

"Nah. He's a rat. Look at his tail, all wormy." James elucidated.

"Ah, well, he'll be good in a fight, then, won't he? So long as he's infected with the plague, of course." Sirius chuckled. "Is he stuck or something? Look at him."

"Go on, Peter, change back?" Remus urged, after a little more squeaking had progressed. Peter shut up, and curled into a tiny ball, trembling with the effort. There was a tiny pop, and he was once again a thirteen year old boy, who quickly struggled to get his clothes back on as the others roared with laughter ("Sorry, forgot about that part." The present day Sirius told Lily with a wince).

"Well?" James asked.

"W-wasn't so bad." Peter replied.

"Can you do it again? Do you understand how?" Remus asked.

"Oh, yeah. Easy. You just have to... " Peter shrugged and made a vague gesture. "Just push yourself out, just like the books said."

"Books said you'd keep your clothes on, too." Sirius said lazily, now reaching for a vial out of James' hand.

"Well, you try, it's harder when they're flapping all over the place." Peter said indignantly, which caused the other three to laugh again.

"Well, Moony, best hope I turn into something a bit bigger than a rat, or this whole thing's a waste." Sirius said archly, and downed his vial. His transformation was far more graceful than Peter's, and a moment later, the young black dog was looking expectantly up at his friends. James and Remus nodded approvingly, as Sirius experimentally raised a paw. ("Look at how small I was back then!" Sirius announced to Lily, who was watching the procedure with fascination.) The dog fixed on James, and cocked his head.

"You're a dog." James explained. Sirius made a noise that was something like an exasperated sigh, and James added, "Dunno what kind. Christ, look at the size of your paws!"

"Probably not done growing yet." Remus surmised. Peter had slunk back, and was looking jealously at Sirius. "That's alright though. He's about the size of me when I change, and I know I'm still getting bigger." They all looked at Sirius for a second more, before James said dismissively,

"Leave it to Bigfoot here to turn into something that can lick his own bollocks. We'll never get him back to human now." Sirius growled, and crossed the space between him and James so swiftly and quietly it was nearly impossible, knocking the unprepared boy to the ground.

"At least he's quieter than he is when he's human." Remus laughed, as James dusted himself off and stood back up, readjusting his glasses on his nose. Sirius took the opportunity to shift back to human, landing neatly on two feet and straightening up. He'd had no difficulties bringing his clothes through the change.

"Right you are." He snorted. "Well, James, you're last. Go on, then. Best hope you turn into something cooler than me." James rolled his eyes, and nonchalantly swallowed his dose of the potion. They were all a bit taken aback by the size of the animal that exploded from him, but after a second, Sirius started laughing hysterically. "Oh yes!" He crowed. "Peter might be a rat, I might be a dog, but at least we're not bloody Bambi!" James looked dolefully at him. Like Sirius, he had some growing to do. His antlers only had two tines, and he looked slightly unsteady on his feet, his legs a bit too long for his body.

"I think he's a stag." Remus offered.

"He's a bleeding fawn." Peter attempted a joke. Nobody laughed, as Sirius had already covered that ground.

"He's the right size, anyway. Bigger than either of us." Sirius drawled, looking at Remus. "And Peter can just hold on to his antlers... well, not really antlers yet, are they? C'mere, let's have a look at these things." James dutifully trotted forward. "Prongs." Sirius pronounced, as the memory began to fade. "Peter can just hang onto those." He suddenly grinned at Remus. "It worked, mate! We'll have you out of that damned Shack in two weeks!" Remus grinned back at all of them just before everything turned black.

Sirius and Lily picked themselves up from the floor, Sirius still grinning from the memory, Lily looking him over as if he were the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen.

"Can I see the others change?" She asked after a moment. "Not Remus, of course." Sirius thought this over, a slight frown on his lips.

"Peter's been studying all the time lately." He muttered after a moment.

"Fine, not Peter then." Lily (who was all too relieved to not deal with the concept of an accidentally naked Peter again today) said. "But James?" Again, Sirius hesitated.

"I'm sure James would show you if you asked him." He finally pronounced deliberately. Lily glanced at him, and let out a little laugh.

"Are you actually jealous? Weren't you the one telling me the other day that if I wanted James, I should go get him?" Sirius' eyes narrowed, and then he stared at the ground.

"I'm not jealous." He said, not particularly convincingly. "I just hate that stupid happy look he gets after he talks to you."

"He's talked to me plenty before this. I don't see why he'd be so happy."

"Yeah, he's talked to you plenty, but not without you screaming at him until very recently." Sirius replied, feeling stupid for explaining any of this. Lily restrained a smile.

"Well, there's no reason to feel jealous. I'm dating you." She reminded him. "Come on, please let's see James? I want to see how you all have been sneaking out of the castle, too." Sirius had to smile back at her at this.

"I don't suppose you want to see my motorcycle?" He offered. "We've been stowing it in the Shrieking Shack since Remus isn't using it these days." Lily smiled at this.

"Well, I suppose you do have all sorts of surprises up your sleeve, don't you, Mr. Black?" She murmured, and leaned in to kiss him once more before pushing herself up. "Come on, then!"


	14. House of Cards

14. House of Cards

James had turned to Remus the moment Sirius and Lily left, an expectant look on his face. He felt antsy. More than antsy, he felt downright nervous. He should be the one telling Lily this, not stupid Sirius! Of course, he didn't resent Sirius or anything. No. Lily might be the only girl he'd ever had eyes for, but Sirius had won her fair and square, and that was fine. Fine. Absolutely fine. Granted, some nights when Sirius came back in the common room after his little voyages away with Lily, his eyes bright, unconsciously smiling, or worse, glancing at James and looking guilty... well, those nights, James could sometimes admit to himself he felt a little bitter. The night James – hell, the whole dormitory – had heard the fast asleep Sirius moan out 'god, Lily, don't stop,' he'd allowed himself to fantasize about what might have happened if Peter hadn't pulled him off the other boy in time... but, no.

He was fine with all this. Fine. Sirius hadn't slept with her yet, anyway, or he would have known. He could read Sirius like a book, he had to convince himself, and therefore, it just couldn't have happened. _And if he did sleep with her?_ His traitor brain would sometimes ask. Would it mean something, anything to Sirius? To Lily? God, what if she _loved_ him? What if he accidentally got her preg- No. At least that wouldn't happen. Sirius' parents had taken him to get 'fixed' at St. Mungos the second he'd shown the first sign of hitting puberty. The Black family would not suffer any bastard children. Sirius had never shown the slightest inclination to find a healer and get the spell lifted, however, so at least James didn't need to worry about that. But even so. There was enough to be worrying about, with the two of them, wasn't there?

"Get that sodding look off your face." Remus grumbled. "Honestly. It's not like he changed shape and then they decided to have a shag. I mean, if she did get all hot and bothered seeing him like that, you're better off without her." James took a deep breath, and reminded himself once again that Remus was touchy for reasons out of his control.

"I don't like you very much right now, Moony." He said conversationally, which made even Remus crack a smile.

"Sorry. Just, you know. Best hope she doesn't rat me out. Bit stressful. How's your NEWT studying going?" He deliberately changed the subject.

"Fucking miserably." James groaned, and took the opportunity to get some work done, dragging his Potions book dramatically onto the table. He was moping over the directions for Fast-Acting Restoratives when Sirius and Lily appeared once more, strolling down the length of the Gryffindor table, holding hands. Sirius leaned over to whisper something in her ear as they walked, and she blushed slightly and swatted his arm, laughing. James tried not to glare, as Remus perked up slightly.

"So?" The werewolf drawled. "Everything all aired out?" Lily released Sirius, and sank in a seat next to James, looking around and then nodding, sure nobody was paying attention to them. Sirius clambered to a seat as well, as Lily spoke up.

"No worries, Remus." She said softly. "It's... well, it's awful, really, what happened to you. If I ever find the brute who did it-"

"I get first shot." Remus said, giving her a toothy grin. Lily smiled slowly in return. It was funny, she thought. Most of the time, it didn't make sense to her that Remus or Peter hung out with James and Sirius. Peter was too much of a sycophant, and Remus was simply too kind. But now that she was paying attention, well, Remus did have his savage side sometimes, didn't he? She fancied she could almost see another being entirely looking out from behind his eyes, and it nearly made her shudder. This, she had to remember, was a key difference between the three Animagi and Remus. When they changed shape, they were merely inhabiting an aspect of themselves. Remus, on the other hand, was... well, infected. Something else was living inside of him that once a month was allowed to claw its way out. "Not scared of me now, are you?" Remus muttered, seeing the minute shift of her expression.

"Honestly, a little." Lily said after some deliberation, giving him a guilty smile. "Not scared of you, really. Scared for you, having to go through that so often. But Sirius said it wasn't so bad, when he and James were out there with you." She gave James a small smile, a grateful one. It was perhaps the sweetest look she'd ever given him. James' palms began to sweat, as he returned the smile. Sirius cleared his throat, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"It isn't." He assured her. "It's better, really. To be with friends, I mean, people who can keep control of their bodies when they change..."

"Padfoot less than some." James drawled. "Takes off after every squirrel he sees." Lily arched an eyebrow at Sirius, who shrugged.

"Better I scare them off than let Moony catch up to them." He tried to argue, but Remus shook his head.

"Nice try, mate. But we all know that when I'm like that, it's only people I want a nibble at. What's your excuse again?" Sirius gave Lily a sidelong glance, and then shrugged.

"Eh, at least I'm not Peter." They all appreciated this solemnly for a moment, and moved on. Lily looked at James again, a half smile on her face.

"I was wondering if I could see you change? I suppose it's strange of me-"

"It's not strange!" James quickly assured her. "Of course. I mean, yeah."

"Sirius said that he'd show me his motorcycle in the Shrieking Shack?" She added. Sirius and James exchanged a look Lily missed entirely. "So I thought you'd like to come along? I mean, that's something you lot do, right, sneak out when you're changed?" Her voice had dropped. Sirius, who had been imagining Lily quickly observing James' stag shape before strolling off with him to the shack for more feverish kisses, sighed. James, who had surmised the same, perked up.

"Sounds fun." He agreed. "Coming along, Remus?"

"Studying." Remus grunted. "You all should be too. Next few nights are a bust." Lily colored slightly, realizing that the NEWTs had gradually become the last thing on her mind, but then shrugged.

"Well, I suppose I can get some work done those nights then." She rationalized, "Since Sirius is going to be incapacitated and all." This made Sirius perk up slightly, and the three of them stood up from the table, heading for the borders of the Forbidden Forest.

"So," Lily said brightly, stepping outside, "Am I the only one besides you lot who knows about any of this?"

At this, Sirius froze up slightly, and tried to send furious mental thoughts to James not to speak up in the slightest. James was busy looking at Lily's neck, and missed the expression on Sirius' face entirely.

"Well, Dumbledore knows, of course." He said brightly. "Moony's parents had to tell when he was enrolled, but Dumbledore didn't care. He even found a way to keep it secret, popular sentiments being what they are." Sirius relaxed slightly, until James piped up, "And actually, Snape knows too."

Lily paused in her stride. Sirius glared daggers at James and imagined that looks could kill.

"Severus? How on earth does he know about Remus?" James made sudden, guilty eye contact with Sirius and mumbled,

"Snape... nearly wandered into him one night." James answered, not looking directly at Lily or Sirius. Sirius' jaw squared. It was not a particularly flattering story, on his end. Lily glanced at the two of them, the way both boys had apparently suddenly been transfigured into marble statues.

"Wandered, or was led?" She asked dangerously, looking between them. Finally, Sirius had to speak up.

"More the latter." He admitted quietly. There was a second of silence, and then Lily erupted.

"You bloody idiots! You thought it would be _funny?_" She snapped. "A silly little prank, to lead a stupid Slytherin into the jaws of a … of a fucking _werewolf?_" Her voice had dropped to the lowest whisper, but she was glaring viciously at the both of them.

"We were young." Sirius replied, ducking his head. "We were stupid, Lily! We didn't think-"

"You never think!" Lily snarled. "It's always a joke with you! It's always so funny, ha ha, look we've jinxed the prefects, we've turned Alice into a sloth, but there's never any thought to the consequences of your actions!" Sirius took a step away from her fury as James spoke up.

"We were idiots back then, Lily, we know it. But we've grown some, you know. We don't just go around playing stupid pranks, anymore. We want to be Aurors, me and Sirius-"

"Well you'd best hope the committee doesn't look at your school records." Lily spat. "So go on. How is it that Snape survived your little joke? A teacher find out before it got too late?" Again, Sirius and James exchanged a guilty glance, Sirius thinking of what he'd done, James realizing what he was going to do to Sirius now by telling the truth.

"I, erm... I brought him back before it was too late." James admitted softly.

"Conscience caught up with you?" Lily said contemptuously. James opened his mouth to agree, but Sirius took the fall.

"He didn't know about it until it was already happening." He sighed. "It was my fault, Lily. James saved him. I was the git who thought it was funny." At this, the anger on Lily's face was wiped away, and a curious blank expression moved over her. She stood there, stock still, for almost a minute.

"I need some time to think." She finally intoned. Sirius released a held breath, and said,

"Will I see you after dinner, then?" She looked him over, and replied, flatly,

"I think I'll need more time than that, Sirius." And abruptly, she was walking back toward the castle, her back to the both of them. James tried to convince himself that the feeling at the pit of his stomach was sympathy, not joy, as he looked at Sirius. Sirius was looking at his shoes, his most haughty, uncaring expression plastered on.

"Come on, mate." James intoned, a few minutes later. "You could use a run." Sirius looked up at him, nodded silently, and disappeared with James into the periphery of the forest. Moments later, the great stag and the huge black dog were sprinting, side by side, through the trees. Both of them tried to revert, to be as animal as possible. They took in the familiar scents of the forest, the feel of dried leaves under their feet. And buried under that, they both tried to convince themselves that this didn't matter. They did not love that girl.


End file.
